The hard-right smear machine strikes again.

Signs and more signs and some seriously asshole tactics.

So there are these right-wing “newspapers” that are not actually newspapers.

They have newspaper names like “SoCal Daily Pulse.” They have bylines (some real names, perhaps). They have headlines and dates and all that stuff, but they are—without fail—creations of hard-right outlets.

And they exist for a singular reason: To scare the living shit out of Grandma and Grandpa.

I’m not exaggerating that point. Even though the “newspapers” have websites, they’re actually 99.999999 percent about Facebook posts. Or, put differently: Grandma Sandy is scrolling “The Web.” She sees a cat photo, two pictures of Penny Coakley’s grandkids, a recipe for eggplant stew, a funny meme about cows and then … this—

Maybe Grandma Sandy clicks on the link.

Maybe Grandma Sandy doesn’t click on the link.

But she reads the headline. She sees the photo. She presses on the LIKE button, maybe re-posts it; perhaps even forwards it to a friend.

And off the right-wing misinformation goes.

Another win for the assholes.

•••

So, briefly, let’s talk about fake newspapers, signs, the Capo Unified School Board race, a gem named Melissa Caldwell and a supersonic douchebag named Marco Carralero.

The two people (Melissa and Marco) aren running against one another for a spot on the Capistrano Unified School District Board of Education. One (Melissa) is a longtime local resident who has been involved for decades in education. The other (Marco) is a carpetbagger who has lived locally for the approximate lifespan of a moth. One (Melissa) can tell you the names of teachers, of principals, of school initiatives. The other (Marco) drives a neon orange CyberTruck and led a lawsuit to allow firearms in places no sane human would want firearms. One (Melissa) is the type of woman who—not all that long ago in the pre-Trump age—was an across-the-board no-brainer for a school board. The other (Marco) is the genre of dude you’ll see walking Huntington Beach with his hat backward, chugging his sixth Red Bull and calling everyone “Bro.”

Alas, we live in 2026.

Sucky, awful 2026.

Thanks to Super PACs and demons like Lisa Davis and Jennifer Adnams and Sonja Shaw, unqualified MAGA dolts like Marco have been imported to run for positions they have no business filling. And since they have no experience or qualifications or ties to the community, they wind up resorting to the types of ugly tactics that tear apart a municpality that was far better (and more whole) before they arrived.

Enter: Signs.

Befitting a local school board election, both Melissa and Marco have signs. And, if we’re being honest, I’d argue Marco’s signs are better. They feature a bold font, good colors, a pencil with an eraser. They also follow the Davis-Adnams blueprint of telling voters literally nothing about their hard-right nuttiness …

Anyhow, Marco’s signs can be found all over town. Which is how one runs a campaign. So, good for him. But recently, a slew of Marco’s signs were planted on private property and community-run property in the precise neighborhood that Melissa Caldwell calls home. Which, well, is pretty weird and even more suspicious. Like, why so many signs concentrated in one hyper-specific area?

So, some of Caldwell’s neighbors told Melissa these Marco signs were popping up left and right, and Caldwell (according to sources) told them the signs should be removed.

Well, by sheer coincidence (aka: I’m guessing no coincidence at all), the Marco Carralero campaign air tagged those specific signs, and now says it has proof Melissa Caldwell has been sign stealing.

Naturally, the story winds up on the different right-wing “newspaper” sites with bold SCANDAL! headlines. Those then wind up on Facebook, and those then wind up in Grandma Sandy’s sight of vision. So she posts and re-posts and shares with 100 of her closest re-posting friends.

That’s how misinformation goes viral.

And here is what I REALLY want to say to Marco Carralero, to Lisa Davis, to Jennifer Adnams and to all the other fuckers tearing up our community …

I hope this is worth it to you. I hope the character assassination of a good woman is worth it to you. I hope you feel great about this. I hope you feel whole about this. I hope you love the grendades you’ve thrown into public education and civic kindness. I hope, when you go to church and hit your knees next Sunday, you talk to God about this. I hope you look in the mirror and feel awesome about this.

Mostly, I hope the toxicity y’all have brought to local politics makes you proud.

I hope it makes you truly proud.

PS: Marco, of course, blocked me on social media. Because, of course, he’s a coward who can’t take any level of criticism or heat.

PPS …