Lisa Davis is praying for you. Be afraid.

The president of the Capo Unified School Board doesn't seem to understand not everyone shares her faith. Or worships a president who fondles women. Or knew they were voting for Team Crazy.

Lisa Davis is the president of the Capo Unified School Board.

And of the myriad people I’ve been asked to write about since kicking off the Truth OC, she may well top the request list. It happens all the time. Please look into Lisa Davis. What about Lisa Davis? Lisa Davis is crazy. Lisa Davis is as nice-mean as you’ll find.

Lisa Davis. Lisa Davis. Lisa Davis.

So, here I sit, writing about Lisa Davis. And when this post ends, I will need a very long, hot shower.

To begin with …

Lisa Davis is terrifying. And I don’t mean that flippantly. She’s straight-up terrifying in a Cabbage Patch Kid-with-a-knife-standing-behind-you sort of way. She first ran for the school board five years ago, and rose to the presidency last November. She is part of a four-headed Capo Unified School Board monster of religious zealots (The law firm of Davis, Bullockus, Adnams and Zollinger will see your soul now) who all smile as if they just dined on your kidnapped child’s left kidney; who believe—strongly—God and Jesus have placed them in these positions; and God and Jesus must—through their presences—guide the educational landscape we all occupy.

They have taken over the school board.

You should be afraid.

And, if you doubt my sincerity, here are some images from Lisa praying with her peeps in front of Truman Benedict Elementary, then collectively setting their hands upon said school, in order to have God’s powers travel through the wood, into the classrooms and (I’m assuming) into the little brains of our children and the bigger brains of their teachers.

If you’re thinking, “That’s a church, right?” No, it’s a school.

And if you’re thinking, “Fine, but it’s a private religious school, right?” No, it’s a public school.

And if you’re thinking, “But they don’t really want religion mixing with public education”—ohhhhhhh, they do.

I assure you, they do.¹

The board members came to power thanks in large part to the organizational talents of regional churches that understand the four women to be harmless-looking tools who will help implement a hard-right educational agenda that includes:

• The elimination of any/all references to diversity.

• The banning of hundreds upon hundreds of books.²

• The elimination of any/all mention of LGBTQ+ issues/factors.³

• The marginalization of LGBTQ+ students.

• The overlording of teachers by (religiously inclined) parents.

• The marginalization (and ultimate elimination) of school librarians.

• The transition toward charter schools.

• Prayer (and we’re not talking Muslim prayer) in school.

The churches (which are supposed to remain nonpartisan in order to maintain tax-exempt status) not only urged their parishioners to vote and volunteer for the four women, but to put money behind their efforts. And (praise Jesus!) they did. In droves.

Meanwhile, the women won by (cough, cough) running campaigns that mentioned almost none of this. Jesus? Who’s Jesus? Former Cubs shortstop Iván de Jesús? Shucks, they were just four soccer moms who love kids and wanna make the community better. Here’s a cookie! Here’s a thing of bubbles! Hee hee. Ho ho. Vote for us! We love education! We love teachers! Go Capo! Smiles! Smiles!

Lisa Davis, in particular, presents as a grinning, carefree, happy-go-lucky midwestern hugger who says, “Aw, shucks” and “Golly gee” and “Holy smokes.” She comes off as the type of person who matches her napkins with her socks. She comes off as the type of person who longs for the days of Ward and June Cleaver. She cuts the crust off bread. She likes Target for condiments. She thinks there’s too much cussin’ on the ol’ 13-inch Zenith.

It is bullshit.

Davis is to soccer moms what an AK-47 is to a water pistol. She’s a vile representation of dishonor among people who profess to walk with God but operate in disturbing, disgusting ways. Like her three Sisters Grimm on the Capo Unified Board, Davis is both all in on the MAGA movement and (it seems) an enormous fan of those who attempted to overrun the United States Capitol/beat the snot out of Capitol police officers on Jan. 6, 2021. And if you think I’m exaggerating, well, here’s a (literal) video of Lisa being introduced by Alan Hostetter …

If you’re wondering, “Who the hell is Alan Hostetter,” I can tell you that:

A. He was prominently featured in this Los Angeles Times article …

B. His Wikipedia bio includes this dandy about the Jan. 6 attacks on the Capitol …

C. He rolls hard with the Three Percenters, a wacky band of far-right anti-government militia members. Oh, and had his home raided by the FBI.

If that’s not enough, here’s a photo of Lisa happy mugging for the camera with Morton Irvine Smith, best known in these parts for: A. Also being arrested on 1.6; B. Living it up as a far-right QAnon sort; C. Speaking up on all sorts of wild, the-government-is-eating-our-dogs-type conspiracies; D. Smelling of used sock.⁴

Need more? Enjoy this cute little video.

The whole thing has always struck me as strange and incongruous. You’re Lisa Davis. You’re a Mormon. You’re a regular Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints parishioner. Which is fine. Not my cup o’ tea—but certainly Lisa’s right.

And the Church is plenty clear on its morality rules. Here’s a snippet:

So, because of this, Lisa doesn’t seem to be a huge fan of gay rights, or maintaining LGBTQ+ protections. Which, again, OK. I guess. Ish. I mean, it’s your religion, and you’re being taught these (warped, cruel, intolerant) lessons.

But (cough) here’s Lisa at a Trump rally, waving her flag and all in on MAGA …

And last I checked, Donald Trump cheated on wife 1 with wife 2, wife 2 with wife 3, wife three with a porn star he paid off in hush money (and a former Playboy model he didn’t pay off in hush money). Donald Trump bragged on the record about grabbing women by the pussies, and was accused of sexual assault/harassment by nearly two dozen women. Strange dude for a pious woman to overtly support.

[It all reminds me of this meme from years ago]

Also, not for nothing, Lisa Davis—School Board President—is all about kindness. We need to be kind. Let’s be kind. Let’s treat everyone with respect. She says it all the time. Writes it all the time. And here’s her guy—the man she rallied for—mocking a disabled reporter, mocking looks, mocking intelligence, mocking Nancy Pelosi’s husband for getting piped in the head, mocking Chris Christie for his weight. On and on and on. Cruelty. Raw-level cruelty. Bottom-of-the-barrel cruelty. Bullying personified. Not a problem for Lisa. Do as I say …

But wait.

There’s more.

Because the Capo Unified School Board is a public entity, many of their communications are readily attainable. And along with the fact that the president of the (cough) school board is a brutal mangler of grammar and syntax, she:

A. Has apparently shared (private) board-related e-mails from district parents with … her friends. Which violates about 8,000 norms of privacy, common decency and standard professionalism. Think about it: You’re a mom or dad. You’re concerned. You send an e-mail to the school board president. That person not only shares the letter with buddies, but shames you …

B. Is majorly hung up on the idea and implementation of Critical Race Theory—though she also clearly does not know what Critical Race Theory actually is.

C. Agreed with this unhinged letter written by a grandma who was fed up with “racist” Barack Obama and longs for the days when scholarships didn’t go to those undeserving Black folk …

D. In some ways, what bothers me most is the way Lisa Davis and her three sisters of hate faith often ran their campaigns. In short, they were nasty. Mean. Cruel. Petty. Talked shit about their opponents; sized them up as evil and immoral. It’s a wacky thing, if you think about it. Two hours in church every Sunday, six other days to take those lessons and twist them to fit your goals and narratives. That’s how they justify voting for the pussy grabber; how they justify spewing shit; how they justify sharing private e-mails; how they justify (in Bullockus’ case) dropping the n-word during a meeting. Yes, God says X. But in this case we can do Y because of Z.

In nine days, Davis will be honored by the Orange County Republicans as their School Board Member of the Year. The nod, I assure you, had nothing to do with math or science scores; or spelling bees or some team making the state finals. Nope—this is all about the conquering of a school board by any means necessary. This is about Davis’ mission (and the local GOP’s mission) of taking public schools “back” and making them more and more and more like the churches they attend and the statues they kneel before.

The goal has never been academic excellence.

It’s about bending public education toward the will of the religious conservatives. It’s about eliminating norms and replacing them with faith.

Lisa Davis’ faith.

Amen.

PS: These people are beatable. Sunlight is the ultimate disinfectant …

PPS: Sorta off topic, but Lisa Davis insists on hugging students after they receive their diplomas at district graduations. It is wildly inappropriate. And, not for nothing, nobody wants a hug from someone they don’t know. So stop. Please.

1. In their most recent campaigns, Davis, Zollinger and Jennifer Adnams were backed by a woman named Mari Barke, an Orange County Board of Education trustee who heads the California Policy Center, an extremist think tank that lines up candidates like the Kook 4, then uses them to push for charters, vouchers and all things Jesus in the classroom.

2. Am I the only one who finds it strange that these people are SO into banning books, but all their kids have cell phones?

3. I do not believe in outing people—and will never do so. However, members of the Crazy 4 Capo Unified School Board have (factually) gay relatives. That these women still push an anti-LGBTQ+ agenda is, truly, disgusting.

4. Just guessing.