Please, get Chuck Schumer to the early bird special.
The not-even-slightly-funny Democratic leader won't step aside—and it's fucking killing me. And our movement.
Not sure if you saw this gem from yesterday, but … hey. If you need something to do that feels like jabbing metal sticks into your oozing-from-acid eye sockets …
To be blunt, I am so motherfucking mad. At Trump, of course. At J.D. Vance, of course. At the entire Republican Party, of course. But also at Chuck Schumer, who—like so many egomaniacs who live and die with power and the spotlight and the need to matter at all costs—refuses to step aside and allow a feistier, younger, hungrier Democrat to take over as Senate Minority Leader. One who, cough, can reach people younger than 120.
The video above—it’s Bob Hope in a Kevin Hart Era. It’s Muhammad Ali, 40 and fat, trying to save face against Trevor Berbick. It’s a cornball hack with no remaining game, gripping the microphone and begging folks to take him seriously.
I’m now going to use all caps, to emphasize the point: IT IS SO FUCKING RIDICULOUS. NOBODY WANTS CHUCK SCHUMER DOING THIS JOB ANY LONGER. HE HAD A GOOD RUN FOR A SPELL—BUT IT’S OVER, BRUH. YOU’RE NOT IMPACTFUL OR INSPIRING. IT JUST SUCKS—AND, EVEN WORSE, IT SUCKS THE LIFE OUT OF A LOT OF ANGRY, AGITATED, ITCHING-TO-BRAWL DEMOCRATS AND LIBERALS. STEP ASIDE, MAN! NOW! LEAVE! GO HOME! THERE’S A ‘LOVE BOAT’ MARATHON STARTING IN 10 MINUTES! PLEASE, CHUCK. END THE MADNESS!
Ok, I feel better.
But, Jesus, he needs to be elsewhere.