Linda Shepard is on the bus

When Lisa Davis speaks, her lemmings follow.

Several years ago, when Capo Unified’s school board wound up being overtaken by a bunch of right-ring religious zealots, the nutty bat signal of choice was a cartoonish yellow school bus with three white stars.

Like, oh, this …

Lisa Davis used it to campaign.

Jennifer Adnams used it to campaign.

Lisa Zollinger used it to campaign.

And while, visually, it seems warm and upbeat and optimistic, to me the yellow bus signifies something else: Deceptive bullshit. One and all, the candidates who’ve used it are MAGA-inspired, Moms For Liberty-influenced Fluffernutter cookies who believe God and Jesus and Moses and Malik Sealy led them to a place where they can bring godliness to public education and, together, eradicate the threat of LGBTQ+ infiltration.

Now, we have the latest entrant.

Thanks to, I’m guessing, the urging of Lisa Davis, school board president, cult leader and (in the future) one of Jackson Hole’s Top 20 Domino’s delivery drivers, Linda Shepard has broken out the ol’ yellow bus, hoping to fill the Area 7 vacated slot of Judy Bullockus and vanquish her opponent, the eminently qualified Ron Ruef.

If you wanna understand the priorities of Shepard, there are a few things one can do.

First, head over to her website and check out her listed endorsements, which reads like a Who’s Who of folks you never, ever, ever, ever want to run into inside the Shops at Mission Viejo …

Second, look at her positions—beginning with this dandy …

Everything you see in the blue is code. “Strong foundations” is oftentimes, “Let’s get away from all the woke bullshit.” And “Teach the truth that our Founders studied thousands of years of governance …” well, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? America was officially founded on July 4, 1776. Thousands is plural. So, like, do you think Franklin and Adams were digging into the 76 BC Sertorian War in Hispania? Do you think they were considering the Exile of Julia and Phraates V? Have you actually read anything about America’s foundation, Ms. Aspiring School Board Member?

Also, not for nothing, if you’re teaching cursive writing in 2026, you might as well break out the abacus. It’s useless. Nobody going forward will be writing in script. Except, sigh, my mother.

And, since we’re chatting here …

… this is both moronic and untrue. “There is one truth” is something religious zealots who insist X figure (and only X figure) is the answer might say. In writing, in science, in history—there are actually oftentimes myriad truths and answers. Teachers will tell you this. Professors will tell you this. Yes, 2+2 always results in 4. But, oh, what was the initial motivation for World War II? Who is most responsible for the Challenger explosion? What is the best way to break down an atom? These are not simple problems with simple answers. Unless, I suppose, you’re a simple person.

Oh, and there’s this …

It’s old and exhausting and Moms For Liberty chum. It also usually ends up translating to, “We can’t trust teachers, so parents need to be involved in everything.” This is how scholastic zealots win over the uninformed—by insisting parental rights are being violated.

•••

Here’s the thing: It’s certainly possible Shepard is a nice person with a good family and solid taste in carpet. But, right now, the Capo Unified School Board is on the brink of true disaster. Three of the seven members are MAGA heads. Add one more, like a Shepard, and suddenly you’re looking at some profoundly dangerous people make profoundly important decisions.

So—seriously. Vote for Ron Ruef.

To hell with the bus.