Last night, while the sane and reasoned denizens of Southern California were watching an amazing playoff game between the Milwaukee Brewers and San Diego Padres, I found myself inside the chambers of Laguna Niguel’s City Hall, attending the City Council meeting.
There are three reasons for this:
• 1. God hates me.
• 2. I smoke crack.
• 3. I run a local political website.
Whatever the case, there I sat in the back corner, fighting to keep my eyes open as official city proclamations were presented to some Scouts and some civic-minded folks, followed by politician-spoken words no one will remember and more politician-spoken words no one will remember and more politician-spoken words no one will remember and (surprise!) Laurie Davies coming and going as quickly as hummingbird’s whistle—and then, finally … the BIG stuff.
The REALLY BIG STUFF!
THE SUPER BIG BIG BIG STUFF!
THE EARTH-SHATTERING STUFF!!!!
[Cough]
Orrrrrr … a meaningless debate on Proposition 39, the stupid voter ID initiative which Californians are voting on in the coming election.
By “meaningless,” I mean utterly, fantastically, dramatically meaningless. The five council members devoted an hour (or so) toward trying to decide whether to officially have Laguna Niguel back the proposition—which, if OKed by the majority of the board, would feature all the power and oomph of a dead squirrel’s left testicle.
Put differently, it was entirely for show.
Entirely, entirely, entirely for show.
There is no legal bearing whatsoever.
Lord, it was ponderous, especially when the board’s three MAGA members (Ray Gennawey, Gene Johns and Kelly Jennings) and one right-leaning moderate (Stephanie Winstead) felt compelled to express why Prop 39 is important. It was sorta like being in a Toledo-based meeting of a cardboard box company, where the CEO happens to be in town and everyone present tries to impress, so we go round and round the room and the employees (sensing their spotlight moment has arrived) regurgitate the same three points over and over and over and over and over and over again.
That’s precisely what happened last night: You see, they argued, voting is great. But sometimes voting isn’t great. Like, say, when people cheat. Or do bad. So we need Prop 39 to make sure everyone is happy. Because unhappy people aren’t happy. They’re unhappy. And we don’t like that.
Obviously, I’m paraphrasing—but not by much. In her remarks, Jennings reminded me of the substitute teacher who has to fill in on “The Grapes of Wrath,” but only reads “Twilight.” Johns felt like the dude who used to hang out at Archie Bunker’s house, drink Schlitz and complain about the neighbors. And Winstead seemed possessed by the wide-eyed terror of a one-legged duck crossing the 405.
For my money, though, the worst of the bunch was Ray Gennawey, the council’s dime-a-dozen nepo-baby who made the impassioned case that Prop 39 is needed—because people no longer trust elections, and it’s a national emergency. The three-time Trump voter proceeded to explain, with great passion, that Americans have lost faith in voting, only …
… Gennawey …
… Just …
… Couldn’t …
… Put …
… His …
… Finger …
… On …
… Why.
It was bizarre. Every summer, Ray’s mother appears at the Sea Country Festival, standing alongside a cardboard cutout of the orange rapist. Yet here was her boy, decrying a nation’s lost trust and simultaneously unable to identify the cause and culprit. I found myself wondering: Is this man more (A) naive, (B) stupid (C) incurious or (D) duplicitous.
I settled on (E) All of the above.
The proceedings were made palpable solely by a handful of impassioned speakers and, ultimately, Stephanie Oddo, the lone liberal on the board and a woman who took her colleagues’ collective reasoning to the woodshed …
When it all mercifully ended, I walked outside, where several attendees discussed the madness coop we now occupy. A Trump voter approached, identified himself as a veteran and explained why he believed Prop 39 to be vital. After a polite back and forth (the guy was far from a jerk), I asked whether he thought—should the Democrats win the House and Senate—Donald Trump would take the L with honor and grace.
“I don’t know,” he said with a shrug. “But Biden …”
I can’t remember the words that followed.
I needed more crack.
You perform these onerous tasks so that we do not have to, and for that you have our heartfelt gratitude.
Thank you for posting Stephanie Oddo's statement.