Gavin Newsom is Micky Ward

Is our governor a shameless self-promoter? Well, yeah. But he's OUR shameless self-promoter. And as Chuck Schumer sits quietly, Gavin's throwing bombs.

When I hit up the gym for my evening workout, I usually pass the 60 minutes on the stairs machine by going to YouTube and watching old fights.

And it’s interesting, because while big-name boxers oftentimes put on big-time brawls (you’ll never go wrong watching Hagler-Hearns), there’s one pugilist in particular who grabs, oh, 90 percent of my attention.

Not that Micky Ward is a legend. He’s not. He was a merely solid brawler out of Lowell, Mass. who took far too many punches and oftentimes bled like a fountain. His 38-13 lifetime record is … good. Just good. Yet I would watch Ward over Sugar Ray Leonard and Rocky Marciano, Evander Holyfield and Mike Tyson, Roberto Duran and Davey Moore—for one grand reason.

He never, ever, ever, ever, ever backs down.

He keeps bringing it.

And bringing it.

And bringing it.

If nothing else, you know Micky Ward will fight for you.

•••

I bring this up because, as we speak, the Democratic Party finds itself at an interesting spot. On the one hand, everything blows. Donald Trump is president, he’s putting on a day-by-day clinic on how to transform a democracy into an authoritarianism regime (if you haven’t seen today’s news—well, yeah), the Republican Party has decided to kneel before him and follow his commands.

It’s unbearable.

On the other hand, Trump is woefully unpopular. As we speak, his approval rating sits underwater (although he’s quite certain we all love and adore him), and most Americans see him for the orange-ass huckster he has long been. It’s not a secret: The guy sucks.

Yet at this crucial moment in American history, with democracy on the line, our party is experiencing two disparate approaches. In the one corner, you have Chuck Schumer, the 74-year-old Senate Majority Leader and a man who—in this website’s opinion—needs to go far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far away. In boxing terms, Schumer is James (Bonecrusher) Smith, the long-ago Tyson opponent who lasted 12 mind-numbing rounds with the terrifying WBC heavyweight champion. Smith survived Tyson by … doing absolutely nothing. He held onto him. He leaned into him. He stayed miles away, then came in close for repeated tight grasps. People booed and heckled and hollered as one boring round after another passed them by. Yes, Smith survived. But at what cost? His reputation was decimated. He was a coward. A softie. A lump of clay who never came to fight, just last.

In short, he was Chuck Schumer.

This is not a compliment.

If you’re wondering, here are Schumer’s recent Tweets …

You’ll notice, not a peep about masked ICE agents grabbing people off the streets (Why? Because immigration terrifies Democrats like Schumer). You’ll notice, not a direct snipe at Greg Abbott over gerrymandering (Why? Because Schumer doesn’t like the optics). It’s soft and sad and fake angry nonsense. It oozes the language of losers. Really, of a man with 3.3 million Twitter followers and nary a clue how to utilize the messaging.

Schumer, more than any modern political figure (left or right) embodies the thing I loathe: Survival instinct. A need to preserve the salary, the office, the parking space, the perceived power, the status. He is as inspiring as a tape dispenser, yet will never read the writing on the wall and let someone younger and more passionate move in. It is, for someone like myself, off-the-charts frustrating. Like many of you, I do this shit for free, because I’m angry and scared and a fighter for democracy.

And here’s ol’ Chuck—coasting.

•••

Enter: Gavin Newsom.

I have not always been the biggest Newsom fan. He’s a super-sized self-promoter. He’s a shameless booster of Gavin. His let’s-appease-the-right-wing-nuts podcast infuriated me. I’ve liked Newsom enough—yet with reservations.

That being said, in these dark days, the dude has been an absolute beacon of light. Or, as the kiddies might say, he’s been fire. First, his messaging is everything Schumer’s is not. He gets the tone, the timing, the snark. He (really, his social media team) has masterfully mocked Donald Trump and the MAGA movement in a way so many of us have been craving. As Schumer and Hakeem (The Walking Nap) Jeffries snooze along and hope things maybe/possibly work out, Newsom has gone full Micky Ward—fists up, jab snapping, uppercut deadly, talking shit, spewing venom, daring his opponent to step forward.

Best of all is the redistricting plan—a sad-yet-necessarily masterful (and masterfully organized) concept to counter the Texas bullshit. Will it work? Hell if I know. But, at long last, a Democratic leader is refusing to back down. Newsom is saying to Trump, “Bring it, asshole. Bring it.” He’s challenging his manhood. Mocking him. Belittling him. Exposing him. Reminding us that, while we are outgunned at the moment, we’re not fucking helpless. There are actions we can actually take.

It’s, truly, the thing people like Schumer just don’t understand: We won’t always win. We won’t always be happy. Crap, this may well be the end of America’s democracy.

But if we, the people, are gonna go down fighting, our leaders damn well better be willing to join us in the mud.

Just as Micky Ward did.