The president of the Laguna Woods Republicans regrets having missed out on Jan. 6.

To quote Matchbox Twenty: "I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell."

Pat Micone with the cardboard cutout of a convicted rapist. Or the convicted rapist with a cardboard cutout of a woman sad she missed out on attacking the Capitol.

So much of this Truth OC website is fun.

And some of it isn’t fun.

In the NOT FUN department, I’d include my current project, which is sorting through the video hellscape that is Jeffrey Scott Brown—the 1.6 asswipe who literally maced a Capitol police officer—speaking recently to the Laguna Woods Republican Club. And if you’d like to simulate the feeling of washing out your eye sockets with acid while swimming amongst 500 famished piranhas as the greatest hits of Taylor Dayne blasts on ceaseless repeat, kick back and take in this 59-minute, 43-second seminar on how cults pray on the emotions of the intellectually vulnerable. It’s so unspeakably bad. Like, so, so, so unspeakably bad. Ishtar, only with Dustin Diamond replacing Dustin Hoffman in the lead role.

Anyhow, expect a full review of “Jeffrey Scott Brown: The Deranged Traitor Chronicles” in the coming days. But for now, in this moment, I’d like to share a sliver in time from the Laguna Woods gala that surely came and went for the 70 (or so) attendees, but stuck with me.

Here you go …

If you’re wondering, the blue-jacketed dildo standing center stage is Brown, fresh out of jail after 58 months and feeling frisky AF (When he’s not leading revolts inside Costco or attempting to kill police officers, Brown apparently loves the scent of Ben Gay and prune juice). And the woman to his right, in the red jacket, is Pat Micone, president of the Laguna Woods Republicans.

And what Micone is admitting with her excited hand wave is that, yes, she also aspired to be there for Jan. 6.

She wanted in on the riot.

[Deep breath]

On the one hand, I actually have empathy for Pat Micone. She’s 78. Retired. Living in a community among fellow seniors. Bingo and cards and spaghetti Tuesdays. As a million different studies have shown, she (and her GOP Club peers) are statistically vulnerable to timeshare scams and bogus fat money schemes and the promises of big, bold excitement. I assure you, Pat is the genre of person who needs to be told, repeatedly, not to answer her cell unless she recognizes the number. So perhaps that explains inviting Brown, and even explains why Micone, in hindsight, wishes she had been there on that glorious 1.6 afternoon, when thousands of folks in MAGA hats and MAGA shirts waving MAGA flags bought the lies of a master huckster and his (inexplicably) hypnotic ways. Maybe that explains why she’s fallen under the sway of a grifter; why she can post I BACK THE BLUE on her Facebook page while simultaneously cheering as her new BFF maces a member of the blue in the punim. Maybe she’s just … bored.

But on the other hand—no. No, no, no. My father was a Republican voter who, before his 2023 passing, recognized Trump to be an unscrupulous traitor. And at some point in her life, Pat Micone and her crew were Reagan Republicans. They stressed law and order. They stressed smaller government. They stressed keeping Russia weak and keeping our military strong. They hated Bill Clinton (as I did) for shagging the intern and found his behavior (as I also did) morally impeachable. Just as our 40th president would have been disgusted by a crumb like Trump, they, too, would have found him repugnant. At least in some past life.

So to sit there in Laguna Woods, after inviting the vile Brown into your hall, and raise your hand in support of one of the darkest days in American history … well, it says something about Pat Micone.

It says she’s lost.

And probably can never again be found.

PS: Not for nothing, but this was just creepy …