The White House released a video two days before the elections, promoting the return of Stephen Hubbard to the United States of America!
I repeat—Stephen Hubbard is back!
Stevie!
The Stevester! Is back! Home! French fries and apple pies and LFG!
Here’s the proof …
And it’s very clear Trump and the White House thought this might serve as a last-minute surprise to get out the Republican vote and show all of us that America is big and bad and better than ever.
Only …
Um …
Eh …
Well …
Who the fuck is Stephen Hubbard?
Answer …
And, truly, this is the most Donald Trump shit ever. Dude wants to be Reagan welcoming back the Iranian hostages. Dude wants to be Obama honoring Michael Jordan with a Presidential Medal of Freedom. Dude so badly wants to be a statesman, a hero, a diplomatic wonder boy.
But, eh, he can’t. Because he isn’t.
So, instead, he gives us Stephen Hubbard, a guy who is surely glad to be back but a guy who 99.9999999 percent of us never knew existed.
Also, not for nothing, Trump boasting of Vlad Putin agreeing to the handover only reminds us that the president is a Russia stooge.
So, if you haven’t voted, vote.
End this nightmare.
Ick.