Ski masks and green military vests.

If ICE terrorists can wear the outfit, why can't we?

I have a plan.

And while it might sound preposterous, and it might be preposterous, I do believe—in these crazed times—everything needs to be on the table in order to save democracy and keep freedom alive.

Hence, I am proposing this: We need to start an organization that buys up shitloads of ski masks and green police vests, then donates the gear to at-risk folks living in ICE-heavy areas like Minneapolis and Portland.

Thus far, we have far too few methods to protect people. But what if the most vulnerable left their homes dressed as ICE agents? Hell, what if we all dress as ICE agents. Masks and vests here, masks and vests there, masks and vests everywhere. Let’s make it the official uniform of 2026. Going to CVS for some gum? Mask and vest. Picking up the kids from school? Mask and vest. Taking a nap on the couch? Mask and vest.

Millions of Americans, all playing Mr. and Mrs. Big Tough Pretend Police Guy—just like the all-too-real ICE agents do.

It wouldn’t be illegal, it wouldn’t be wrong and it would annoy/frustrate the living shit out of actual ICE agents. Plus, the vests have plenty of pockets, and seem quite breathable.

Hell, look here at Amazon.com …

Who knows? Maybe soon enough we’ll have mask and vest tea parties, mask and vest raves, mask and vest book clubs.

Why not?

If democracy is gonna drown, we should at least dress for the occasion.

Sigh.