Requiem for a transplant

Esther Kim Varet and Co. can now safety return to Los Angeles.

I am sure the DM will come.

Maybe from Esther Kim Varet, maybe from her husband, maybe from a cousin or uncle or dog. Maybe from her third campaign manager, or her fourth, or fifth. Or is it sixth?

Whatever the case, it will come.

“You caused this to happen …”

She will be referring to this website, and her underwhelming showing in the CA-40 congressional race, which—as of this moment—has her a distant third to the two (inevitable) Republicans, Ken Calvert and Young Kim …

Esther, as y’all know by now, moved here from Los Angeles to save our souls. A Los Angeles art dealer and gallerist, she literally relocated her family to Orange County to become a member of Congress. She spent money, hired staffers, rented an ice cream truck, plastered her name all over the place. But she also, from Day 1, offended the living fuck out of people with arrogance, condescension, rudeness. She labeled herself an “apex predator,” dumped on her Democratic opponents, made enemies like Louisville Slugger makes bats. She and her crew responded to pretty much everyone who criticized her—but never with, “I admire your opinion, even if we disagree,” and usually with some sort of insult, or block, or smackdown.

And here’s the crazy part.

The crazy, crazy, crazy part.

Esther Kim Varet spent millions on this race. Lisa Ramirez, the warm immigration attorney, spent, oh, $300,000. And, as we speak, Esther is barely beating her. Like, b-a-r-e-l-y.

So what does it all mean?

• 1. A Democrat was never, ever, ever going to win this seat. Never. The rejiggered-under-Prop 50 40th is mostly Calvert’s old district (the 41st), and Calvert (pardon me as I vomit in my mouth) is popular there. The 40th is also plus-nine Republican—which is a far cry from, oh, plus-six or plus-seven. It is a district the Democratic Party knew it could not capture. In many ways, it was designed for them to lose. Even if a singular Democratic emerged from the primary, they would be roadkill for Calvert.

• 2. Young Kim will advance to the general, but she knows (and Calvert certainly knows) she’s squirrel stew. The good news: The two Republicans will spend millions bashing one another and tarnishing their brands. The bad news: As shitty as Young Kim can be, she’s moderate compared to the Ted Cruz-ish Calvert, a culture warrior douche with a love of MAGA. Oh, well.

• 3. This probably feels like a loss for Lisa Ramirez, but it’s not. Again—she was not going to win this election. But she performed extremely well, considering the limited dough and late entry. As a political insider said to me this morning, “If she were smart, she’d jump into a local race this November. Community college board, city council, fucking water board. Anything to get started.” I agree. I believe, truly, Lisa can be a political star. Her resume, her disposition, etc. This was a really good jumping off point for her.

• 4. I’ll miss Joe Kerr. I don’t care what anyone says, I believe he’s a good dude. And Esther’s efforts to have him remove RETIRED FIREFIGHTER from his ballot ID was just stupid, petty JV-level nonsense. I believe, ultimately, Joe thought he’d be good at this job. Which matters.

• 5. Am I alone in never before hearing of Claude Keissieh? Who has—a website?

• 6. Like many of you, I’m learning as I go along. The CA-40 was confusing from jump. The race began before Prop 50, changed 100 ways, had candidates come and go, arrive and depart, rise and fall. Remember Paula Swift? Remember Christina Gagnier? Remember Perry Meade? Remember Butch Huskey? Where have they all gone? What have they all become? I initially got sucked into the idea that a Dem might win, then realized it was silly, then got sucked in again, then realized it was silly, then …

California politics are strange.

• 7. In all seriousness, running for office sucks. I’ve witnessed it up close. The banal conversations, the ceaseless handshakes, the introductions to people you’ll never remember, the money requests. It’s thankless, tiring, emotionally draining.

So, props to those who tried in CA-40.

There’s always 2028.