Mike Munzing needed a bodyguard.

His name is Jonny Wolf. I would gladly challenge him to a fight, but, eh, he can beat the snot out of me. So maybe not.

So, much was made of Wednesday night’s Aliso Viejo City Council meeting, when Mike Munzing’s plan to ban the Pride flag from City Hall was chopped up, fried and fed to the town’s collection of rainbow-hued piranhas.

It was a fantastic exhibit of people showing up, speaking out, stepping forward, bringing the heat. It made me a proud Californian, a proud Orange Countian (not really a word, but you get it), even a proud American.

Interestingly, Munzing employed a bodyguard for the affair.

His name is Jonny Wolf. He is, I believe from the below photograph, a man who could punch me out, pick me up, punch me out again—then rip out my spleen and mail it to the starving children of Ethiopia …

And I was thinking: What does it say about Mike Munzing and his courage and his conviction that he needed a bodyguard? I mean, seriously. If you believe in what you’re doing, and you know you’re right, and you know your cause is righteous, why would you require physical protection? Over a Pride flag?

Furthermore, what does that say about you, as a person? Your toughness? Your strength? And, also, your feelings toward the folks you represent. Aliso Viejo is a town of 50,263 people. It’s a town where Girl Scouts sell cookies, where kids pass by on skateboards, where neighbors dish out candy for Halloween. There are 19,495 incorporated cities, towns, and villages across the United States of America, and I’m willing to bet Aliso Viejo is—peace and comfort-wise—in the top five percent.

As for Jonny Wolf … well, first I’d like to say, um … eh … you seem like a lovely man, quite handsome and intelligent, and, eh, if we meet up in a dark street corner, I’m the other Jeff Pearlman. Not the one who wrote this post.

But second—I was scrolling your Facebook page, and read your (rightful) disgust over the 9.11 attacks of 2001. What I did not see was what should have also been your rightful disgust over Donald Trump lying about sending “100 of my men” to help with the recovery, then lying about donating $10,000 to the 9.11 Fund, then lying about actually going down himself and helping with recovery efforts. Seriously, Jonny: What type of patriot lies about being a 9.11 hero?

What I also did not see was your disgust over Donald Trump ridiculing POWs, landing five draft deferments for imaginary bone spurs, bragging about grabbing women by the pussies, cheating on wife 1 with wife 2, wife 2 with wife 3, wife 3 with a porn star he paid off with hush money. I didn’t see any of your anger over his refusal to pay taxes, over his mocking of disabled people, of his creating of a phony university to bilk poor folks of their money, of … any of that stuff. And, while, we’re at it, how those tariffs going?

I could delve deeper into your MAGA hypocrisy, but I don’t want you to beat me up.

So, hey!

Keep up the good work, buddy.

PS: Here’s Jonny’s video from seven years ago, RE: Colin Kaepernick and NFL players kneeling during the anthem. Just wondering, bruh: Does this not bother you? How about this? Or this weird-ass shit? When did pelvic-thrusting a flag as if it were a mid-1980s Miss America pageant become patriotic?