I have a new obsession.

There are people who know how to use social media. There are people who want to know how to use social media. And there is Linda Shepard.

I love Linda Shepard, a new candidate for Capo Unified’s school board.

I love her listless campaign.

I love her hat stylings.

I love how she was recruited by Lisa Davis, but lacks any of Lisa’s spunk, buzz and propensity for hugs.

I love how she rocks the mic at a party.

I love how she lights up a stage and waxes a chump like a candle.

I love how she believes Keefe D had nothing to do with Tupac’s murder.

But mostly, I love love love love her Instagram feed.

Like, I FUCKING love it.

As we speak, Linda has 34 Instagram followers—one who whom appears to be a mail-order wedding officiant, another whose last post (in 2024) featured a video of Kamala Harris alongside the words, “She LOVES BLM. SHE WANTS TO DESTROY AMERICA 👺🐀” and another who is, well, the real estate business page for Lisa Zollinger, a hard-right member of the board who (I truly believe) wants to do good but has been kidnapped by the nuts. Hell, the wildest part is that, while Lisa Davis recruited her to run, Lisa Davis also has the good sense to stay far, far away from Linda’s IG page (she doesn’t follow her protege. Weird).

But while the who follows/who doesn’t is interesting, it’s the content that gets me giggly.

Or, to be blunt, Linda Shepard shouldn’t be on IG. Should. Not. It’s just not a good medium for her, and every time she does a THIS IS MY PRIORITY video, I feel like calling her up and saying, “Jesus Christ, Gramms, you need to look AT the camera!”

I also have to wonder—why is someone in her 70s (with no direct ties to Capo Unified) running for, well, Capo Unified school board? I don’t meant to be ageist, but … why? You don’t have kids in school. You don’t have grandkids in the school. You don’t have a connection to the school. You’re clearly hard right, and aspire to follow the Moms For Liberty playbook of mucking everything up in the name of general muckery.

But … c’mon.

Just stop.