Chuck, it's over. Seriously, it's o-v-e-r.

You can't put lipstick on a pig. And you can't make the senate minority leader understand he's washed.

In the lord’s year of 1980, Muhammad Ali and Larry Holmes fought for the heavyweight championship of the world.

At the time, Ali was 38. He had slowed noticeably, wasn’t nearly as powerful as his younger self, could no longer bob and weave and move as he had, years earlier, against the likes of Joe Frazier and Joe Bugner and Ken Norton. In short, he was washed. A once-great fighter desperate to reclaim past glories but lacking the tools to do so..

Alas, in the leadup to the Oct. 2 Las Vegas-based bout inside the Sports Pavilion at Caesars Palace, Ali was able to fool people. The gray strands in his hair were dyed. He took suspect weight-loss diuretics that slimmed him down to 217 1/2 pounds. In limited public sparring sessions, he talked shit and launched hooks and danced around the ring like a spry upstart. Sports Illustrated, America’s athletic bible at the time, ran this deceptive cover …

… and by the night of the event, the betting odds (which had opened with the entering-his-prime Holmes favored 3–1) had dropped to 2–1.

Then the fight began … and Muhammad Ali got his ass beaten. It was ugly. And never even slightly close. Holmes was younger, faster, stronger. He had once been Ali’s sparring partner, so nothing surprised him. At multiple points, Holmes literally turned to Richard Green, the referee, and begged him to stop it. Please, end this. Please, have mercy. Finally, after the 10th round, Ali’s corner threw in the towel. Just admitted it was hopeless. Later, Ferdie Pacheco, Ali's former ring doctor, lamented that, “All the people involved in this fight should've been arrested. This fight was an abomination, a crime."

Which leads me to Chuck Schumer.

In case you missed this, on Tuesday Schumer appeared with Chris Hayes on MSNBC. This exchange, in particular, caught my attention …

And, dear God, where are Muhammad Ali’s cornermen when we need them? Where is someone prepared to make the hard decision? To throw in the towel?

Truly, someone in power who has the ear of Chuck Schumer needs to tell him—at this very moment—it’s time to step aside and usher in fresh blood. This doesn’t mean resigning as senator, but finding someone younger, quicker, more, well, 2025 to take the wheel and give the party a revamped voice. Because, like Muhammad Ali in 1980, you no longer have it, bruh. You can pump your fists, wear your nicest suit, appear alongside Chris Murphy. But it’s all just hair dye and diuretics.

Literally, as we speak, I’m guessing 90 percent of registered Democrats want Schumer to step aside. It’s legitimately demoralizing—we’re out here, busting our asses, and he’s doing the ol’ Joe Biden I’m-the-only-one-who-can-do this two step jig. He’s making the same mistakes the former president did; the same mistakes Ruth Bader Ginsburg did; the same mistakes Diane Feinstein did. I wonder, genuinely, whether Schumer grasps the damage of his presence, or whether his ego and sense of deserved power warp reality as they once did for the iconic prize fighter of my boyhood.

Either way, the more I see of Chuck Schumer, the more angry I become.

And the more angry I become, the more I want to throw some punches.

Alas, I don’t hit very hard.

I’m Muhammad Ali, circa 1980.