Chad Williams is a pornographer's wettest dream.

I would gladly pay $100,000 for someone to the check the browser history of Huntington Beach's very own banana emoji.

Chad Williams will keep Huntington Beach children safe.

Chad Williams, Huntington Beach City Council member, has again taken to the information superhighway to show you how much he hates pornography.

And if you now find yourself asking, “How much does Chad Williams hate pornography?”—the answer is, Lord, a lot. Hell, he hates it so, so, so, so soooooooo much that all he does these days is talk about pornography, shout about pornography, hand out pornographic images at Easter events and, now, posts (what he deems to be) pornographic material on his organization’s very own website.

Ron Hightower and Ron Jeremy beware. There’s a new sheriff in town.

In short, either Bro loves himself some breasts and vaginas and penises and (maybe) nipples, or he just loves warning you about breasts and vaginas and penises and (maybe) nipples by showing you breasts and vaginas and penises and (maybe) nipples. Could be both.

Think I’m exaggerating? Chad’s operation, Ex-Military Bros Who Love Porn Protect HB Kids, recently commissioned a website to encourage local citizens to vote against upcoming measures (known as, simply, A and B) that would leave public libraries in the hands of (gasp) librarians (You can read all about it here. One can vote until the end of June 10—and unless you’re a Huntington Beach resident who digs the idea of these crazies telling you what can and can’t be read—vote yes). Like a dog that won’t stop yapping, Chad says that we need to remove porn from the public library. That porn is evil and porn is bad and porn wants to attack our children and turn them into porn monsters. And that Chad—praise Chad!—knows what’s right for us. And wrong for us. Because … he’s Chad.

[I’d like to pause for a moment to provide the link to George Michael’s groundbreaking 1987 video for “I Want Your Sex.” In honor of Chad]

But here’s what I really love, in that stepping-in-a-pile-of-dog-shit way. Chad, America’s leading porn crusader, has done more to promote (material he considers to be) porn in Huntington Beach than anything since the great Dildo Blizzard of ‘73. His website is (literally) Ground Zero for all of the risqué and salacious material Chad says he wants gone.

Without a sliver of editing, I have lifted the following images from Protect HB Kids. They are readily available, and anyone with a computer or iPhone can access them …

My favorite is this passage—also printed on Chad’s site …

Now, think about it. Really think about it. What’s more likely?

A. Some kid strolls into the Huntington Beach Library on a lazy afternoon, scans the faded fiction shelves and turns to page (checks notes) 393 of “Identical,” a book that came out in 2010 and currently sits at No. 97,435 on the Amazon rankings.

B. Some kid follows his local councilman’s social media feeds, says, “Holy shit! This dude is posting stuff about a dad fucking his daughter!” then texts 30 of his closest friends with links.

Alas, (it seems) Chad Williams loves porn. And talking about porn. And obsessing about porn. And telling you how bad porn is. Even stuff that isn’t actually porn.

I know the dude attends Church every Sunday.

This might help even more.

PS: On a very serious note, this is legitimate authoritarian shit. The City Council wants to take over the Huntington Beach library system and deem what is appropriate and inappropriate for you to read. These are hard-right Christian nationalists who hold meetings with a Donald Trump bust placed atop a desk. These are also people who seem untroubled by Donald Trump paying off a porn star in hush money—after he had sex with her as his wife was five months preggers.