Typo in your headline. Keep trying cottage cheese. I hated it forever, tried it again when I was about 75 years old and I now like it a lot, especially with fresh strawberries. Plus it's good for you.
I think we can be gracious and take a compliment from someone we find abhorrent and 1) still not wish to have dinner with them, and 2) take them to task for their abhorrent views (but perhaps not right after they've paid you a compliment).
I'm with you all the way on this one, Jeff. I have a brother who votes Republican, not full on MAGA, but a Trump supporter. We don't talk much, so I don't know exactly where he stands at this point of the administration. We've gotten into our share of political disagreements over the years, and I distinctly recall how heated things got a while back when J6 was brought up. How can one possibly defend a violent insurrection against our government that was incited to overturn a free and fair election based upon the crackpot premise that it was stolen? But he did. They wanted to impeach Clinton over a blowjob and this is okay?
It's been a long standing tradition where he, my sister, and our families get together for our birthdays. and mine is coming up (I'll be 64 this year). Do I really want to sit at the same table and break bread with someone who tolerates, perhaps supports, a sick leader who espouses such repugnant rhetoric against half the people in this country? Who is okay with a rapist, pedophile, insurrectionist (just scratching the surface), who wants to build concentration camps and would probably wage a genocidal campaign against brown skinned people if he could get away with it? Is that someone I want to spend any amount of time with?
This has gone beyond politics - it's a moral issue. I'm reminded of the rhetorical question we so often see - if you were living in Germany in the 1930's what would you have done? That's a similar timeline I feel we're living in. This is not okay, I have serious qualms about this meeting. I don't think I can bring myself to look him in the eye, I'm just so disgusted with events. This will irreparably alter our family dynamic, things will never be the same. But I've just lost so much respect for people that can support this evil and it's time to put the foot down.
I understand that even some of Hitler's henchmen were charming people.
Indeed -- the current situation has gone way past the simple political disagreements of past years: it feels truly existential at this point. If tRump, Steven Miller, and their malignant MAGAt minions prevail, it'll be the end of "America" and the beginning of something monstrously ugly.
Early in 2016, I got together for lunch with a good friend of 40 years -- a great guy who once took a homeless man into a "Ross Dress for Less" to buy the man a suit in the hope that would help him get his act together. At a certain point he sighed, looked down, and said "You'll hate me for this, but I voted for Trump."
I was horrified, of course, but kept my calm.
"I don't hate you," I replied, after a beat, "but I just don't think tRump will be able to solve our country's problems."
This was shortly before I retired and left LA. We kept in touch via phone and e-mail for a few more years, but only by agreeing to scrupulously avoid the subject of politics. That worked pretty well until an aggressive cancer took him down fast, and I often wonder if he'd survived -- given how much worse tRump has been in his second term -- if we'd have been able to maintain our friendship.
I don't know ... but I feel for you and the state of things with your brother. That's rough.
Are they racists and/or misogynists? Then I owe them no response at all. There can be a lot of differences where I would come to the table, but that is a full stop. (obviously an opinion, not telling others how they need to decide)
Thats a tough one, but I think you did the right thing. I've been in this situation a few times and I always try to be cordial.....Until there's a reason not to be.
Yeah, Ben Shapiro is despicable. Lots of people are, and most of them vote MAGA.
In a democracy, we MUST listen to one another. We MUST have discussions. We MUST be willing to engage with them, even when we find their ideology or past behavior misguided or abhorrent. This is the goal we - presumably - have as Americans: democracy.
Thanking Ben Shapiro for the complement is not "playing footsie." It is simply being polite. Politeness - a form of respect - can open the door to further exchanges. We can change the world by being polite, while at the same time making sure our values are clear from our actions - but not necessarily our words. "Actions speak louder than words," right? The fact that Ben Shapiro reached out to Jeff Pearlman says something positive about Ben Shapiro. He opened the door a crack. So, yes, Jeff Pearlman did something productive by being respectful to Ben Shapiro, rather than slamming the door shut.
There is no magic about saving our democracy. It requires the hard work of living as good, decent, non-judgmental people, and a willingness to listen to the perspective of those who speak to us. That is especially important with people who disagree with us.
My feelings are that if people just put down other people there is never an opportunity for true discussion. Bridges must be built based on the things that you hold in common and then you can open meaningful dialogues. If all we do is fight we will never get back to finding ways to work together.
1. Add something to the cottage cheese, never eat it plain. It's great mixed in with herbs, oil for dips or with canned syruped fruits, both hide the taste of the cottage cheese. 2. Do not engage with Ben Shapiro. Cite your name, rank and serial number. The guy is pure evil.
Typo in your headline. Keep trying cottage cheese. I hated it forever, tried it again when I was about 75 years old and I now like it a lot, especially with fresh strawberries. Plus it's good for you.
I think we can be gracious and take a compliment from someone we find abhorrent and 1) still not wish to have dinner with them, and 2) take them to task for their abhorrent views (but perhaps not right after they've paid you a compliment).
I'm with you all the way on this one, Jeff. I have a brother who votes Republican, not full on MAGA, but a Trump supporter. We don't talk much, so I don't know exactly where he stands at this point of the administration. We've gotten into our share of political disagreements over the years, and I distinctly recall how heated things got a while back when J6 was brought up. How can one possibly defend a violent insurrection against our government that was incited to overturn a free and fair election based upon the crackpot premise that it was stolen? But he did. They wanted to impeach Clinton over a blowjob and this is okay?
It's been a long standing tradition where he, my sister, and our families get together for our birthdays. and mine is coming up (I'll be 64 this year). Do I really want to sit at the same table and break bread with someone who tolerates, perhaps supports, a sick leader who espouses such repugnant rhetoric against half the people in this country? Who is okay with a rapist, pedophile, insurrectionist (just scratching the surface), who wants to build concentration camps and would probably wage a genocidal campaign against brown skinned people if he could get away with it? Is that someone I want to spend any amount of time with?
This has gone beyond politics - it's a moral issue. I'm reminded of the rhetorical question we so often see - if you were living in Germany in the 1930's what would you have done? That's a similar timeline I feel we're living in. This is not okay, I have serious qualms about this meeting. I don't think I can bring myself to look him in the eye, I'm just so disgusted with events. This will irreparably alter our family dynamic, things will never be the same. But I've just lost so much respect for people that can support this evil and it's time to put the foot down.
I understand that even some of Hitler's henchmen were charming people.
Indeed -- the current situation has gone way past the simple political disagreements of past years: it feels truly existential at this point. If tRump, Steven Miller, and their malignant MAGAt minions prevail, it'll be the end of "America" and the beginning of something monstrously ugly.
Early in 2016, I got together for lunch with a good friend of 40 years -- a great guy who once took a homeless man into a "Ross Dress for Less" to buy the man a suit in the hope that would help him get his act together. At a certain point he sighed, looked down, and said "You'll hate me for this, but I voted for Trump."
I was horrified, of course, but kept my calm.
"I don't hate you," I replied, after a beat, "but I just don't think tRump will be able to solve our country's problems."
This was shortly before I retired and left LA. We kept in touch via phone and e-mail for a few more years, but only by agreeing to scrupulously avoid the subject of politics. That worked pretty well until an aggressive cancer took him down fast, and I often wonder if he'd survived -- given how much worse tRump has been in his second term -- if we'd have been able to maintain our friendship.
I don't know ... but I feel for you and the state of things with your brother. That's rough.
Good luck.
Are they racists and/or misogynists? Then I owe them no response at all. There can be a lot of differences where I would come to the table, but that is a full stop. (obviously an opinion, not telling others how they need to decide)
Thats a tough one, but I think you did the right thing. I've been in this situation a few times and I always try to be cordial.....Until there's a reason not to be.
I think we have the conversation every time someone asks us to come to the table.
Yeah, Ben Shapiro is despicable. Lots of people are, and most of them vote MAGA.
In a democracy, we MUST listen to one another. We MUST have discussions. We MUST be willing to engage with them, even when we find their ideology or past behavior misguided or abhorrent. This is the goal we - presumably - have as Americans: democracy.
Thanking Ben Shapiro for the complement is not "playing footsie." It is simply being polite. Politeness - a form of respect - can open the door to further exchanges. We can change the world by being polite, while at the same time making sure our values are clear from our actions - but not necessarily our words. "Actions speak louder than words," right? The fact that Ben Shapiro reached out to Jeff Pearlman says something positive about Ben Shapiro. He opened the door a crack. So, yes, Jeff Pearlman did something productive by being respectful to Ben Shapiro, rather than slamming the door shut.
There is no magic about saving our democracy. It requires the hard work of living as good, decent, non-judgmental people, and a willingness to listen to the perspective of those who speak to us. That is especially important with people who disagree with us.
We change the world one person at a time.
My feelings are that if people just put down other people there is never an opportunity for true discussion. Bridges must be built based on the things that you hold in common and then you can open meaningful dialogues. If all we do is fight we will never get back to finding ways to work together.
1. Add something to the cottage cheese, never eat it plain. It's great mixed in with herbs, oil for dips or with canned syruped fruits, both hide the taste of the cottage cheese. 2. Do not engage with Ben Shapiro. Cite your name, rank and serial number. The guy is pure evil.