I’m a huge Taryn fan. Help her out.

See y’all next week.

Jeff

I know I said I was taking a week off—and I am. But this was great, and this message should resonate.

It does with me.

Just an FYI—I’ll be taking this week off from any Truth OC posting. I need a summer rest, and I’m a bit beaten down, and the beach beckons and …

I’m tired.

So don’t sweat it—I’ll be back.

– Jeff

PS: Side note: I have a weekly YouTube show called PRESS BOX CHRONICLES. It’s a different story every week, it’s totally free—but subscribers help my existence/financial security. If y’all wouldn’t mind subscribing, it’d be quite helpful and appreciated.

Thank you.

So, as y’all surely know, Chris Kluwe is running for Assembly against the God-awful Gracey Van Der Mark, a woman who rips the heads off live bats and eats them while singing the QAnon anthem. And one thing Chris is sorta reluctant to do is talk about his past life as an NFL punter with the Vikings. First, because he’s not really a huge pro fan. Second, because when it feels like shit is collapsing, who wants to chat Brett Favre and Adrian Peterson?

Alas, campaigning is more than wonk policy and photo ops, so I was pumped when I received this bulk DM from the campaign …

Even if it makes him uncomfortable, this is one of the things Chris needs to do. Own the past. Embrace the glory. Tell stories of gridiron Sundays when hope seemed lost and the Vikings led by two and they were pinned in their own end zone and they needed a Kluwe punt and … and … and …

Yes, America is collapsing.

Yes, Donald Trump is awful.

Yes, Gracey Van Der Mark is nuts.

But, sadly, we have the attention spans of gnats.

This is the shit one must do.

PS: Here’s the donation link. Seriously, Chris can win this thing, but it will be very hard. Help the dude out.

PPS: Here’s Chris kicking the shit out of a ball …

By Kayla Williams

Contributor to The Truth OC

The first 18 years of your life is like existing on a free trial.

I don’t remember where I heard that perspective, but it has stuck with me. For many people, over the course of those first 18 years you live with your parents or a guardian and food, utilities and insurance are paid for. Of course, this is not applicable to everyone—but it is for many.

Including myself.

I have been forced to acknowledge the fact that my free trial is almost over. Up until now, I had shoved the thought deep into my subconscious in order to spare me the stress and anxiety that comes with its acknowledgment (which now I must endure). Because, unlike my premium Spotify subscription (a lifeline some might say), I can’t choose whether or not to subscribe to adulthood. It isn’t optional, it’s forced.

Now, I must question whether or not I’ll be lucky enough to afford it.

Growing up, adulthood seems pretty straightforward. Go to college. Get a job. Rent an apartment. Save up, buy a house. Maybe start a family. It seemed like a natural progression where completing one step led easily to the next. At some point this may have been true. Unfortunately, that path is now stupidly complicated and much less certain as each step comes with a big fat warning label.

That college you wanted to attend? $60,000 a year. Seriously? But no it’s okay—you can take out a loan! It’ll only take you years to pay back.

That job you spent years preparing for? It might require years of experience you were supposed to somehow get before you even entered the workforce.

Oh! Don’t forget about that apartment you wanted to rent. You can probably find one. But wait … the rent just went up again? Yeah of course it did. Because of the never-ending increase in housing prices.It’s absolutely ridiculous. Then it becomes painfully clear why buying a house is something many young adults cannot realistically afford until later in life.

For many graduates, this means moving back in with their parents—a decision once viewed as embarrassing or a sign of lacking ambition. In today’s reality, this has become a financial necessity. All because they cannot afford the American subscription to adulthood.

Somewhere along the way, the goalposts moved. If I could drag them back to where they once stood with all the strength of my frustration, I would. Because I want to return to the time where I once felt like adulthood is the next exciting chapter I was waiting for.

When I was a kindergartener, I wanted to be a vet. Back then, my biggest career concern was realizing that being a veterinarian meant having to perform surgeries—which, in my head, meant cutting open animals.

Now—as I prepare for my freshman year of college—my concerns have shifted from bloody animals to whether the future I want is even financially possible. Becoming an adult was supposed to feel like a new adventure that I am finally old enough to begin.

Instead, it feels like a crazy financial obstacle course full of uncertainty. Instead of wondering what color comforter I should buy for my dorm, I find myself wondering if the degree I will receive four years from now will even be worth what I paid for it. I’m excited to go to college, but I’m so unbelievably terrified to graduate from it.

Despite the obstacles, I still believe that hard work can build a future I’m proud of. I just hope that America still rewards that kind of hard work. I don’t expect America to hand me success.

I want to believe that the country I am entering adulthood in will allow the future I am working toward to be possible.

Kayla Williams is a recent Aliso Niguel High grad. She begins her freshman year at Arizona State in August. You can follow her on Instagram here.

Saw this article, and immediately felt like punching a wall …

It’s the type of thing that begins small. A headline. Two headlines. Some TikTok videos.

Then it grows.

And GROWS.

AND GROWS.

AND GROWS!!!!!!

AND GROWS!!!!!!!!!

And, before you know it, Trump and Co. are all over it. See! We told you! The Democrats are cheating! Look at New Jersey! Look what’s happening! It’s in the news! We told you people! We told you!

This, I assure you, will begin ASAP.

Inevitably, the Dems will cower into a corner, cough, point, stutter. When, truth be told, they should do now what they should’ve been doing all the fucking fuck along. Which is (I’ll begin the all caps here, good people) SCREAM AND SHOUT ABOUT THE JAN. 6 INSURRECTION, AND REMIND PEOPLE EVERY FUCKING DAY THAT THE ASSHOLE BELLOWING ‘FRAUD! FRAUD!’ SENT HIS MINIONS INTO THE CAPITOL, WATCHED THEM TEAR IT APART, FAILED TO LIFT A FINGER–THEN PARDONED EVERY SINGLE PARTICIPANT, EVEN THE ONES WHO BATTERED LAW ENFORCEMENT!

Seriously, this is the video. And it needs to be played on repeat …

Alas, Chuck Schumer will probably head up to the New York State Fair to rave about the yogurt.

Because, hey.

What’s democracy without dairy?

Received some excited messages the other day, asking whether I’d seen “The Butch Twining Video.”

“Nope,” I replied. I had not.

Here it is …

And I get it. I do. Twining is a member of the Huntington Beach City Council. He’s one of the MAGA bros who is all in on Donald Trump and Charlie Kirk and porn in schools and book bans and the plaque and the statue and he’s rude and crass and dumb and, yes, he vapes at age, like, 70. Which, unless you’re Billy Joel, is super weird and legitimately perplexing.

However …

What does this sneeze in time—captured on video for the world to behold—do for Democrats trying to win a seat or two on the City Council in a very conservative metropolis? Does it make our party appear dignified? No. Mature? No. Reasoned? No. We look (and I hate to say this) sort of unhinged and rabid, and the post-exchange jubilation over getting Twining’s goat is less win, more ode to the gotcha! landscape we now occupy. People who abhor Twining will love it. People who support Twining will see it as libs being libs. And it’s all on video—the 2026 universal medium of choice.

Again, I do get it. Hell, I love the spiritual release of making fun of MAGA buffoons. But the goal here is to flip the city council, and to do so means convincing on-the-fence folks better people than Butch Twining walk the earth.

Also, not for nothing, there are productive ways to get a goat, and nonproductive ways to get a goat. Had the man outside the vehicle said, “Hey, Butch, I think building a Trump statue is crazy …” and then Twining fires off, “Fuck you!” … that’s a solid win. It’s an irrationally crude reply to a fair observation stated by a constituent.

But if someone ran up to my car and cracked that vaping line, I’d probably tell him to fuck off, too.

Maybe I’m growing soft, but it’s just not for me.

So in case y’all missed this, Huntington Beach is considering the placement of a permanent bronze Donald Trump statue in Patriot Plaza, which sits alongside the Huntington Beach Civic Center.

Pat Burns, the veteran council member/walking embodiment of a penis-shaped bowling pin, is 100-percent behind the idea, which would involve the handiwork of Steven Barber, he of many statues, and Anthony Constantino, CEO of Sticker Mule (Mental note: Never, ever, ever use Sticker Mule). According to the Orange County Register, “the 7-foot bronze sculpture would depict Trump in a full suit with one fist raised and a red “Make America Great Again” hat in his other hand, reminiscent of the president after the shooting at a 2024 campaign event in Butler, Pennsylvania.”

Of course, local Democrats (and general sane people) have come out against the idea. Here, take a gander …

And, to Palumbo, Glim, Davis and Spivey—well, I suggest re-considering the take on this one. I think, truly, Huntington Beach is 100-percent worthy of the Trump statue. I think they should build it, I think it should be prominently placed and I think we’ll need a ceremony for the unveiling. Maybe Tito Ortiz and Charlie Kirk’s widow can attend.

Most important, I think the Donald Trump statue must be accompanied by the most sturdy of plaques, and it needs to read this: THIS STATUE WAS MADE POSSIBLE BY THE SEVEN MEMBERS OF THE HUNTINGTON BEACH CITY COUNCIL. THEY ARE: CASEY MCKEON. BUTCH TWINING. GRACEY VAN DER MARK. DON KENNEDY. CHAD WILLIAMS. ANDREW GRUEL. I actually would add some extra context, something like, “In the summer of 2026, these seven people believed Donald Trump was the savior of democracy and the beacon of patriotism. They were all in on MAGA and would have done anything for the president.”

I’m not joking.

Why? Because while I can’t tell you how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, or who started for the Seattle Mariners on Opening Day 1979, I know—without question—this does not end well for Donald Trump and his anti-democracy, anti-free speech, anti-diversity lemmings. Hell, it might take decades to get there. Many decades. But, ultimately, people will look back at this period in world history, when a racist, greedy, incompetent, narcoleptic madman made $2 billion while in office; had unvetted masked agents pulling over brown people, ripping them from their vehicles and—in some cases—murdering them; mocked the disabled and the poor and foreign-born and the blue-collar and the struggling; said POWs weren’t heroes and E. Jean Carroll was asking for it; sat back and watched as his supporters stormed the Capitol and set up a noose for his vice president …

On and on.

Folks will look back and ask, “How did anyone support this? How could anyone support this?

“Who would support this?”

Then they will visit Surf City, walk toward Patriot Plaza and see:

CASEY MCKEON.

BUTCH TWINING.

GRACEY VAN DER MARK.

DON KENNEDY.

CHAD WILLIAMS.

ANDREW GRUEL.

That will explain everything.

So there is a woman named Florice Hoffman, who serves as the chair of the Democratic Party of Orange County. She is liberal and devoted and profoundly anti-MAGA and pro-98 percent of the things this website stands for.

She also can be quite the jerk.

In case you missed this, in May Kaitlyn Schallhorn of the Orange County Register wrote a piece headlined, IN AN ORANGE COUNTY ASSEMBLY RACE, A FIGHT BREWS OVER WHO CAN ENDORSE THE DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATES. The story delves into our 68th Assembly District, where four candidates are running for the slot. Officially, the Democratic Party (as headed by Hoffman) has endorsed Santa Ana Mayor Pro Tem David Penaloza, a dude with a high-level beard-stache combo.

Another person in the race is Jessie Lopez, a member of the Santa Ana City Council. Recently, on her website Lopez cited endorsements from “Anaheim Democrats” and “Santa Ana Democratic Club.” Which was 100 percent correct—both groups threw their backing behind Lopez.

Only … eh … according to Hoffman (who really needs to change her name to Florence, just because it’s an easier spell) and the DPOC, that shit couldn’t be listed, because neither group is “chartered with the official state or county party,” according to Schallhorn’s work.

So what did Florence Florice Hoffman do? Did she send cookies and a kind request? No. Did she ask Jo Adell to speak on her behalf? No. Did she go hug a cow? No.

From the article …

And I’m sorry, but … what? Like, what the actual flippity fuck? Lopez wound up removing the endorsements from her website, but I sure as hell wouldn’t have. This is, more than anything, a freedom of speech and expression issue, and if someone running for office is endorsed by local groups that use the word “Democrat” or “Democratic” in the titles—hey, mazel and tov.

The letter sent by the DPOC cited bylaws of the state and county parties—which means (wait for it) nothing when it comes to expression. Seriously, nothing at all. When the Register called ol’ Vern Nelson, who runs the Anaheim club, he rightly noted: “We never told everybody we were chartered. No one asks about or knows what charters are. We’re a club of Democrats in Anaheim. They don’t own any of those words.”

Being serious—this really pissed me off. Hoffman told the Register that only the California Democratic Party can endorse candidates. Which, again, is nonsense, garbage, ludicrous and un-American.

So, in that spirit: We, The (Democratic) Truth OC, officially endorse Jessie Lopez in the 68th Assembly District race. We support her democratically. Double democratically. Triple democratically. She’s the Democrat who this democratic site believes can best represent the Democratic Party when it comes to democracy in Orange County—where this Democratic site exists and thrives. Democratically.

Sue me, Florice.

For the most part, I’ve enjoyed running this website.

I’ve met some fascinating people, I’ve learned a ton about local politics, I’ve come to see that many fine people (of all political stripes) aspire to help their communities.

Truly, it’s been a net positive.

However …

There are also times when this experience causes me to long for a heavy rock to take me out. To long for a black darkness to wipe out to earth. To long for the ghost of Dana Plato to come down from her cloud and slaughter us with a sword of collective terror.

Today is one of those days.

•••

It has been brought to my attention that we have yet another entrant into the upcoming race to land a (coveted?) spot on the Capo Unified School District board. The man who has decided to run for the trustee area 4 slot (which covers portions of Laguna Niguel and Dana Point) is Marco Carralero, and he drives a neon-orange Tesla Cybertruck. And if you’re thinking, “That’s impossible. What type of Alabama dill weed would drive a neon-orange Tesla Cybertruck?”—well, the answer is the Marco Carralero species of Alabama dill weed. And here’s his truck …

For what it’s worth Daily Nouri is a company Marco started with his wife. It peddles probiotics and such, with an emphasis on gut health. And while probiotics are not my thing, and companies like Daily Nouri give me the willies (Science? What science …), I suppose I’ve got no beef with gut health. I have a gut. I like it being healthy.

So … sell all the pills and tabs and secret sauces you like, kiddies.

Sell what you like.

That said, Marco Carralero shouldn’t step within two inches of the school board. First, because he not only appears to have zero background in education, but—based on a thin bio—seems to be of a certain species where public education is frowned upon. Especially the type with books. And, um, reading. And teachers who don’t spew Reagan and Biblical quotes. Once upon a time, Marco was a Claremont Institute fellow—meaning he was paid to learn at an organization that (though technically devoted to the Constitution and rule of law) has fully thrown itself at the feet and mercy of MAGA and Donald Trump. Claremont now seems to exist to deconstruct the ideas of liberal democracy, and make our country as insufferably MAGA as possible.

But, wait. I’m babbling.

Some things about Marco …

• Marco was a key plaintiff in a lawsuit to lower gun restrictions in California. In particular, he fought to be able to bring his gun into churches and hospitals. I’m not entirely sure why a dude living in Orange County needs reduced firearm restrictions inside churches and hospitals, but maybe he’s worried about someone stealing his neon-orange Tesla Cybertruck.

Also, in the spirit of “The company you keep,” here’s a list of Marco’s co-plaintiffs: Garrison Ham, Orange County Gun Owners PCA, San Diego County Gun Owners PAC, California Gun Rights Foundation, and Firearms Policy Coalition Inc.

When this campaign heats up, someone needs to ask Marco how he feels about firearms on school property.

Someone has to ask him.

• Caroline Carralero, Marco’s wife/business partner/co-owner of the neon-orange Tesla Cybertruck, has appeared on Fox News to offer up her anti-vaccination views, and on Newsmax to praise a man who appears to be her lord and savior—Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.

And she doesn’t just like RFK, Jr. She loves him. Looooooooves him. Which, I have to guess, means Marco looooooooves him, too. Which is terrifying. Because RFK, Jr. is a motherfucking nut.

But, again, she loves him like she loves the neon-orange Tesla Cybertruck.

Wait. Here’s the wildest part about Marco’s wife.

The wildest.

When one visits her LinkedIn page, they find this under education …

Translation: After being home schooled by her mother, she dropped out of college, then received a fellowship:

A. From one of the most evil and ruinous men in modern world history.

B. That is given only to people who drop out of college in order to seek their own truths. I’m not making that shit up. The wife of a new school board candidate bypassed a USD degree to accept money from a ruinous, poisonous figure.

[And now she’s telling people how to stay healthy. With the science she learned … somewhere.]

Also, girl—WTF?

• Marco is a mystery. Truly, a mystery in an age when few people are mysteries. He has no LinedIn presence. A private IG page. We knew he attended high school in Hungary …

… know he participates in the Citizens Academy. He doesn’t have a kid in Capo Unified schools, making his run extra weird and bewildering. I’ve never seen him at a meeting, and no one I’ve spoken with recalls him in attendance.

Worst of all, because 2 percent of citizens pay close attention to these elections, he’ll have a shot at defeating Dr. Gary Pritchard, a veteran board member and a reasoned, decent, intelligent man who lives and dies with a genuine love for public education.

Here’s a past candidate statement from Pritchard, who worked as a college dean (and doesn’t own a neon-orange Tesla Cybertruck) …

•••

Seriously, we—as a community—have a decision to make.

Decisions.

Namely, are we giving up on normalcy and reason? Are we setting aside experience, qualifications, educational background, and replacing them with snappy IG posts and neon vehicles and wacky nuts who didn’t need formal education … because they learned from influencers and truth-seeking conferences?

Have we reached the point where nothing (literally) nothing matters, besides the glow from our phone as a Kardashian entertains us by eating three pickles in one bite? Are we lost, with no return?

And, along those lines, are we willing to hand our kids’ educations over to circus freaks like Marco Carralero?

Is this where we are?

By Caleb Otte

Special to The Truth OC

Aliso Viejo’s city council tried to ban the pride flag on government property last year. They also paid the new city manager around $70,000 more than what the last one made, without any resident input into the search or contract. And just last week the city’s mayor posted a picture with a confederate flag on social media.

The growing MAGA agenda on the city council is far from representative of a municipality that voted for Kamala Harris, and every district voted “yes” on Prop 50 last year.

Steven Von der Porten is fed up with all of that.

He isn’t a career politician. Nowhere close to it. He’s the opposite. He’s just a guy—a very smart one at that. Graduating with a degree in physics from Harvey Mudd College, Von der Porten works as an aerospace engineer at Turion Space.

VDP thinks his experience would be largely beneficial to Aliso Viejo’s city council, which is why he’s running for the District 2 seat. What makes his campaign interesting is that, despite being at a hyper local level, he is running staunchly on an anti-MAGA platform. It’s all about accountability, authenticity, rationality and a return to community driven solutions to problems.

If voters don’t respond to that message, don’t expect VDP to switch tracks.

“If I can’t win my values, why run?” he told Truth OC in a recent interview.

But what are VDP’s values and why does he think this long-shot campaign can work? According to his website, “affordability,” “security,” and “accountability” encompass his broader goals. After chatting with him for about half an hour, the picture becomes a lot more nuanced.

Why is VDP running and why is he specifically the right man for the job?

These were the first two — and perhaps most important — questions I asked during my talk with VDP. This is what he had to say.

Q: Why are you running for Aliso Viejo city council?

A: I feel like we’re stronger when we’re united together, when we have a community where everyone feels welcome and feels like they have a place where we can invest in the community, and (families) can put down roots. I think all those things are going to be extremely important as we face some of the pressures that are affecting our communities, like a lot of the Trump administration’s failed policies.

So, we need to be able to work together as a community, and I want to be a member of the council in order to help build that sense, and give people a chance to engage with their leaders and trust their leaders.

Q: Why do you feel like you can provide that sense of community?

A: The biggest reason is that I care. I think that now is not a time for cautious decisions. We need to make bold choices to really get people to come back together, to come back to our values as a community, because right now we aren’t really represented in terms of what the community believes on our city council.

Q: What do some of those bold decisions look like?

A: One of the things I’m looking at is … addressing some of the housing market issues by generating more housing … and particularly emphasizing primary home ownership by the homeowner. And so when you do that, then it gives a chance for more of the community to be kind of a permanent fixture in the community, right? They can invest in what they’re doing because they know that next year they’re not going to be priced out of their rental. And in order to do that, we need to increase the amount of housing we’ve got. I mean, the state’s already requiring us to do that, but we need to really put in an effort to increase housing, to drive down the ridiculous cost of housing.

Just from a personal perspective, you know, I’m a homeowner and I’m not planning on moving. I like where I live. I love Aliso Viejo. But what I don’t want to see is the community kind of just age to the point where it loses its vibrancy, right? Because the only people that can afford to be here are people who are already here or people who have a huge amount of investment money. What I care about is who my neighbors are, and that everyone has an opportunity to be my neighbor.

What does he think the city council is doing wrong?

Pretty much everything. Four out of five members—all but Tiffany Ackley—subscribe to the MAGA agenda and hard-right politics. In VDP’s eyes, they aren’t representative of their constituents. And they certainly don’t take accountability or listen to residents.

VDP will be running against the current mayor, Max Duncan. The one who posed with a confederate flag and posted about it on Facebook. That, in a nutshell, is what VDP said he sees as the error in the ways of the council.

“He had no shame,” VDP said. “These are not the values that my neighbors hold.”

VDP also explained more about how, last year, after the previous city manager passed away, the council started the search for a new one. And they did it with no input from residents.

“We see this all the time from the Trump administration, that ethics and accountability are not something that they care about,” he said. “And guess what? (The city council) realized that they can do the same thing. Our city council has been allocating lots of money … without any sort of community input. They hired a new city manager and they flaunted that they saved $50,000 from hiring a consulting firm to hire the city manager. Then the committee of two, with no transparency or oversight, ended up paying the new city manager $70,000 more than the previous woman was in the position. So in order to pay more money, they got rid of oversight and community input.”

So how has the city council strayed so far from being representative or beholden to the people of Aliso Viejo?

“I think a lot of it is that people haven’t been paying attention. A lot of people in Aliso Viejo are reasonably comfortable. They like the city. I mean, it’s a beautiful city. It’s a wonderful place. But we can’t afford to be complacent anymore,” he said.

That is, from my understanding, the crux of this campaign. Bringing accountability back to the city government, and doing so by waking people up to the true dangers that a MAGA run council brings.

The anti-MAGA driven campaign

What has interested me from the moment I learned about VDP’s campaign is how heavily he is leaning on an anti-MAGA platform. It is a playbook usually used for higher profile campaigns. The reason MAGA supporting people are able to win city council elections is because they present themselves as your average person, just wanting to help the city. It works because not enough people pay attention to who they truly are, but VDP wants people to start looking deeper at how their city is run.

But still, why go so hard-line anti-MAGA when the city is moderate at best? Like he said, it’s all about winning with his values. And to him, the best way to fight the Trump administration is at a local level.

“Responding to these national things, these national events, they’re not going to be solved on a national level,” he said. “We’ve seen very clearly that our national leaders are willing to completely ignore the rule of law when it suits them. None of the branches of government are prepared to fix that right now. That leaves the levels of resistance at the local level. If we’re going to push back, we need to do that as communities. We need to do it together. We need to stand up for each other because we have to understand that when one of us is separated from us, we’re all weaker and we need strength right now.”

VDP’s website also focuses on ICE and how cities need to do everything they can to protect due process. When asked if ICE is really a problem in Aliso Viejo, he wanted to make it clear that even though his city hasn’t had high profile cases like Santa Ana that it is becoming an increasingly larger problem.

“It’s not as sensational, but we have had instances. They are already here and they’re already making arrests and people are disappearing,” VDP said. “And the fact of the matter is, it’s coming in a much stronger way. This sort of enforcement isn’t something that just fizzles out. It’s only going to increase and it’s going to be here much more strongly. I think we need to be able to respond to that as a city. Our leadership doesn’t have any sort of will to do that. We need to take concrete actions that protect people, that allow us to document what’s happening, that help people when an incident occurs, that help people with resources to track their loved ones. That sort of thing.”

That’s where VDP’s values lie: in protecting his community and bringing people together. The biggest question, however, is whether or not any of this will reach voters in a meaningful way by the time November comes around.

How can his campaign succeed?

It was extremely evident during the interview that VDP has not done this before. He has not been interviewed by a political website to discuss his plans for a city council race. He is not adept at campaigning or saying “the right thing” just because it sounds good. He is candid. VDP says what he truly believes and can back it up. Running a campaign is completely new to him. Whether that is a strength or not will have to be decided, but despite a lack of experience in politics he is more well informed than most people.

When asked about how he will get his message out, VDP had no worries.

“I think a lot of it is talking to people. I’m going to be out there, asking people what’s important to them. I’m going to be telling them a little about who I am and why I think that my role can help make their lives and their neighbor’s lives better.”

And, truly, he is not the type to bullshit anybody. You can tell just by talking to him for two minutes.

“I’m not a very filtered person. What you see is what you get.”

With around 6,000 registered voters in Aliso Viejo District 2, however, it will be almost impossible for VDP to reach them all via chats in the street or at community events. What he needs, and what could be a crucial piece to this entire puzzle, is a good social media presence and enough money to get his name and face in front of as many people as possible.

Strong social media will lead to more donations. As of now, however, VDP only has 59 Instagram followers and three posts on his account. Unfortunately, that won’t cut it when facing an incumbent.

It would be unfortunate if a lack of name recognition killed his campaign, because VDP is one of the more down-to-earth (yet truly smart) people to ever run for political office. When he says that he isn’t running to stroke his ego, I believe him. Because what the hell does a successful aerospace engineer need an ego boost for?

In fact, when it comes to his expertise, VDP believes he has an advantage over people like Max Duncan.

“What matters at a city council level is the ability to integrate new information, right? Cause that’s what’s going to happen for every meeting. City staff and the public are going to provide input, and we have to look at that information as a whole and make rational decisions that benefit the city. That process is exactly what an engineer does. I think in terms of what needs to be done on city council, I’m not planning on spending 90% of my time campaigning. I’m planning on spending most of my time doing as much as I can with the information I can get.”

VDP also talked about the need to trust experts. If he wins the council seat, he doesn’t want to act like he knows everything. He wants to hear from city staff and outside firms and all of these people who know more about running a city than him. He wants to hear the residents and integrate their worries into his decisions.

If that message truly reaches voters, then VDP will be the no-brainer choice. Reaching voters, however, will be the biggest challenge of his campaign.

It’s as he told me: “We’re out of time, we can’t play games. We need to approach (the issues) in ways that work.”

So for all I know this is mere rumor, but sources are telling me that Judy Bullockus, the longtime Capo Unified School Board member and a woman who freely dropped the n-word like Tupac at the House of Blues, is likely not running for re-election. Which isn’t surprising, because the upcoming roasting (from this site and others) would be intense and unforgiving.

Alas, supposedly in her place rises Linda Shepard.

Yes, Linda Shepard!

Everyone! Linda Shepard!!!

[crickets]

If you’re scratching your head and wondering, “Who the crappity crap is Linda Shepard?”—you’re not alone. Linda Shepard is an arch-conservative former Mission Viejo City Council candidate whose political career flamed out like a Steve Pisarkiewicz spiral (you’re gonna have to look that one up on your own). She’s v-e-r-y hard-right, v-e-r-y rigid, v-e-r-y not fun, and gives off a sorta “Back in the day, when milk was a dollar …” vibes. She pops up in the notations from the May 23, 2023 Mission Viejo City Council meeting, and not in a way that makes a sane person smile …

She also, confusingly, once ate at the Cheesecake Factory dressed as the lead character from The Handmaid’s Tale. And it wasn’t Halloween—just a night out for the Shepards …

I digress.

I don’t like what I’m seeing here. What I’m smelling here. The sniff test results are brutal. Lisa Davis, the awful School Board President/MAGA Warrior/Religious Zealot, has been desperately trying to fill the board with like-minded right wingers who want God in school, diversity out of school, an isn’t-Jesus-the-bestest! superintendent and prayer warriors leading the way. In this video, Shepard says, “I stand for family values”—oftentimes clumsy OC code for white mom, white dad, white kids, straight as arrows. She also boasts about once serving as the assistant comptroller at Taco Bell—and lord knows most of us have experienced the post-Cantina Crispy Chicken Taco Meal Deal shit fits explosion.

Anyhow, if/when Linda Shepard officially announces her run, we’ll delve more into this one and bring the heat.

But, fuck.

It’s exhausting.

PS: I’m betting $100 Linda Shepard is the mom who hands out raisins on Halloween.

PPS: Here’s ol Linda Shepard (second from right) at a recent event, posing with Sonja Shaw (second from left)—the monster who attended a high school track event to berate the parents of a trans athlete. The woman in the pink is Mari Barke, one of the great destroyers of normal education. On the far left is Brenda Lebsack (a name of dreams)—an anti-trans crusader and the world’s leading expert on lebsacks.

PPPS: Linda was all in on Judy. But when Judy dropped the n-word, not a peep. Not. A. Single. Peep.

So yesterday morning my nephew Isaiah and I were driving to Venice Beach. He’s visiting from New York, and I thought it’d be cool to show him the sights.

Well, he saw the sights.

Roughly 15 minutes into our drive, traffic came to a dead stop. There were cars in front of us, cars besides us, cars behind us. I saw a bunch of flashing lights a few feet ahead, and a firetruck down the road a bit.

Then, I saw him.

The man, wearing an orange shirt and dark pants, was hanging off the wrong side of the fenced overpass at Edinger Avenue. There were a slew of officers surrounding him; I assume, trying to talk him down. At first, I yelped to Isaiah, “Holy shit—there’s a jumper!” I thought about the horrors that could potentially await. A man plummeting to his death. The collective gasp. A splotch of humanity on the road. Having (as a New Yorker) experienced the up-close hellscape of 9.11, my mind flashed back to the unspeakable. Witnessing death is terrible, but witnessing death via a plummet is soul-hollowing. I didn’t want to see it. I certainly didn’t want my 22-year-old nephew to see it.

The minutes ticked away. The traffic grew. The minutes ticked away. The traffic grew. Shock and dismay turned to a state of timelessness. Our lives were collectively suspended. I leaned back my seat and took a nap. Isaiah watched a World Cup game on his phone. After a while, people started abandoning their vehicles to get a closer look. I walked toward the front, where four people were speaking Spanish. They seemed concerned. I joined another group, where they were (understandably) expressing their frustrations. There were places to be. Flights to catch. Jobs to work. Loved ones to visit. “Either jump or don’t jump,” I heard one man say—and, while it was harsh, I overlooked the momentary tastelessness. We were trapped, flies in amber. It wasn’t fun.

I thought a lot about the man in the orange. Who was he? What happened to him? How did he reach this point? Was he on drugs? Despondent? Had his wife just left him? Were his kids mad at him? Was he fired? Tried? Battered? What was going through his mind?

As I returned to my car, I saw a woman speaking with my nephew through my open window. She was a social worker, and was debating whether to offer her services to the police. Maybe the jumper needed a friend. A comforter. The woman had a warm face, compassionate cheeks. I’m guessing she leads the league in hugs.

Then, suddenly, a rush!

The police were re-opening the highway. The jumper was still dangling, but how long could we all be stuck in place? So the men and women who abandoned their Hondas and Chevys and Priuses bounded back toward their Hondas and Chevys and Priuses. You could see a glee in the collective motion. We were free. All of us were free.

And yet …

Were we?

For the 45 minutes (or so), a random assortment of people were thrust together, not so much by fate but by the mechanisms of one man, who believed his life may no longer be worth living. We were together. Forced together, but together nonetheless. There was nowhere to go and nothing to do.

Just existence.

Just a moment in time on the 405.

•••

The man lived.

So this is sorta random, but Max Duncan isn’t merely the mayor of Aliso Viejo, but a dude who (in a very old headshot he still uses) bears a striking resemblance to Max Headroom, the iconic 1980s robo pitchman.

Take a look …

Anyhow, when he’s not doing things to oppose diversity and decency, Duncan apparently spends his time hoisting Confederate flags. And if you don’t believe me, well, here’s Max Duncan hoisting a literal Confederate flag during the recent Tierra Del Sol in Ocotillo Wells …

On the one hand, maybe Max Duncan just longs to be hanging out with Daisy Duke in Hazzard County, Georgia. Maybe he longs for the days when your horn could sound like this and you voted for people like this and you could refer to your adult Black neighbor as boy. Maybe he pines for s simpler time in America; a time where everyone knew their place and God shined upon the confederacy.

Or …

Maybe he’s just a piece of shit who should know better.

So a few weeks ago, a woman named Mandy Bourne filed papers to enter the upcoming race for a spot on the Capo Unified School District’s board. She is running for the Trustee Area 6 seat occupied by Gila Jones, a well-regarded moderate. And, if one visits Bourne’s website, they will find what appears to be a run-of-the-mill local parent trying to make the world a better place. And, I suppose, it’s possible Mandy Bourne is a run-of-the-mill local parent trying to make the world a better place. I mean, truly, who the heck knows?

But …

There’s this thing that now hangs over the Capo Unified School District’s board like a moldy sheet. It starts with Lisa Davis, the board president, a Bluto-level bully and a toxin to the ideals of normal public education. It extends to Jennifer Adnams, a board member and, well, also a toxin to the ideals of normal public education. What it is is … eh, um, dogma. Hard-right dogma. Hard-right religious dogma. Hard-right religious dogma that thrusts forward a singular world view that begins and ends with an adherence to the principles of Jesus Christ’ supposed teachings. Hard-right religious dogma that thrusts forward a singular world view that begins and ends with an adherence to the principles of Jesus Christ’ supposed teachings—and (in the minds of these women) belongs inside our public schools.

And if you know not whereof I speak, take a moment or two and listen to this episode of the Kingdom Alliance podcast, which features Adnams (a uniquely vapid woman) explaining her perspective on things. It’s creepy AF; a reminder that, among us, walk a species of homo sapiens who believe they exist to input God’s seed within our brains. That everything (literally everything) they do concerns converting non-believers into believers.

Hell, if that’s not enough for you, take some more time and watch this unwatchable episode of Jack Hibbs’ podcast, which brings forth the weirdness of Davis, Adnams and Lisa Zollinger—three Capo Unified Board members.

If you’re wondering, what does this all have to do with Mandy Bourne running for School Board, it’s this: Bourne is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Which, in an isolation chamber, should 100-percent not be an issue. If you live in Orange County, you surely know Mormons. And like Mormons. They’re on your kid’s little league team, in your kid’s dance class. They tell jokes, complain, recommend restaurants, even (on occasion) curse. Like any religion, some Mormons are all in on the faith, some are half in, some think it’s a stupid waste of time. They’re people who fart and spit and sleep and eat, just like anyone else.

I wanna reiterate that, before I continue: They’re people, just like anyone else [Don’t believe me? Giants quarterback Jaxon Dart is LDS. And that dude can throw a 70-yard spiral].

But … here’s the twist: While, in the real world, religious identity is just a thing, on the Capo Unified School Board shit is beginning to get disconcertingly weird and wild and Stepford-like. If Bourne winds up winning, she will become (alongside Davis and Lisa Zollinger) the third LDS Board member, and that trio will (recent history suggests) align with Adnams, who exists to make us all believe as she does.

A brief pause for two spoonfuls of Jennifer Adnams creepiness …

If you’ve been paying attention, this all sounds fmailiar. You know Lisa Davis is a dim-witted, power-hungry lunatic who attended a MAGA rally, sported a MAGA hat and was in on the Gays Against Groomers dude fucking up a meeting last year. You know Adnams is of the same political ilk. You know Zollinger is (sorta) of the same ilk—though, to her credit, she occasionally seems annoyed by her zealot cronies and desperately wants to go home and watch “Love Island.” You know having four of these people on the School Board is Game Over for a reasoned approach to education. You know it’s zealotry come to life. You know it’s profoundly bad news.

You also know the local conservative churches (LDS included) have become significantly more involved in OC school board elections. They are encouraging parishioners to fight, encouraging them to give money, encouraging them to run for office and volunteer their time and put God first and thrust Him into our academics; to take the lessons of Prager University and apply them to the local scene. They are, with no known exceptions, 100 percent on the MAGA train, with an emphasis on liberals being the woke enemies of Godliness who need to be defeated at all costs. For fuck’s sake, I’ve seen a photo of these peeps leaning against a public school building, praying into the brick foundation. Put different: To them, it’s not a joke—it’s a holy war for our children.

Enter: Mandy Bourne.

Now, I have yet to speak with Mandy, or hear her speak. I know what you might know about her: She lists herself as NPP (No Party Preference). Her husband, Troy, is a member of the San Juan Capistrano City Council. They have a gaggle of kids, all of whom have been educated in public schools. I say this sincerely: She seems likable and kind, and I hope (truly hope) my concerns and suspicions are the ramblings of a anxiety-riddled sports writer who has been listening to too much Bebe Rexha.

Seriously: I hope she’s awesome.

However, there is a track record around here that gives me the willies. When Davis, Adnams and Zollinger ran for their spots, they presented (like Bourne) as these happy-happy, lovey-lovey OC moms who just wanna embrace life and promote positive energy. They handed out stickers and bubbles; smiled nonstop; expressed love for teachers and learning and … and …

It all led to the worst academic-based culture war any of us have had the misfortune of experiencing.

Hell, it all led to a school district on the verge of catastrophe.

Seriously, shit has gotten dark. Really dark. There are suspicions Davis wants Dr. Christopher Brown, the district superintendent and a dude liked by most reasonable people, out. There have been choreographed stunts during Board meetings that were simultaneously performative and grotesque. There’s a Prager U spirit that doesn’t belong in public education. Seriously, it’s bad.

So what I think we need, in a genuine spirit of openness, is for Mandy Bourne to answer some legitimate questions.

Among them …

• 1. What role do you believe religion should play in public education?

• 2. Can you commit to supporting Dr. Brown?

• 3. Have you spoken with Lisa Davis about any agendas? If so, which?

• 4. What are your thoughts on diversity and inclusion?

• 5. How do you feel about LGBTQ+ students and families?

• 6. How do you feel about closing and/or merging schools?

• 7. How can we lower the temperature surrounding School Board conflicts and bullying?

• 8. Do you identify as MAGA? If so, why?

I’m not saying the give and take will solve anything. I’m not even saying—with 100-percent certainty—that it’ll help.

But it can be a start.

The above image was posted on Instagram this weekend by Gracey Van Der Mark, the Huntington Beach City Council member running for State Assembly.

And the word that comes to mind is …

Trashy.

Absolutely trashy.

To be clear, I’d be saying this were Gracey a man or a llama or a three-pronged fork. Whatever the status, she’s just grotesque; a woman who led the push for the library MAGA plaque; a woman who fought libraries and insisted—at the top of her voice—that pornography merchants were infiltrating education; a woman who has corroded and corrupted a fantastic city with her extremism, her anger, her viciousness, her raw stupidity.

In short, Gracey Van Der Mark is a QAnon-supporting lunatic. And that should offend your general lunatics, because to be grouped with her is no compliment.

And here’s the thing: As we speak, Gracey is running against Chris Kluwe, former NFL player/current Huntington Beach resident/advocate for decency. And, at the moment, you’d have to say Gracey is the slight favorite. It’s a lean-conservative voting block, and her time on the council has provided useful name recognition. It’s a lean-Gracey race right now.

So, what I’d like to see is this: Chris Kluwe taking the gloves off, and Chris Kluwe’s campaign taking the gloves off. In smaller elections, you can’t just win by hyping your own goods (and Chris is overflowing with goods). No, you need to define your opponent. In this case, that isn’t too hard: Gracey is a nut. Not half a nut. A full, all-squirrels-in lunatic who dashes toward the nearest conspiracy theory as a moth does a streetlamp. She is a sitting duck of stupidity and simplicity, running against a dude who is far more accomplished and intelligent.

If I’m the Kluwe campaign, oh, 70 percent of my focus going forward is on defining Gracey. Scroll her wacky IG feed, pluck images, make her messaging your messaging. Go hard, go on the attack, start handing out leaflets about her porn weirdness and council meeting blatherings.

Bring.

The.

Fucking.

Heat.

She’s lined it up for us.

Let’s knock it down.

So there was a rally earlier today on the corner of Aliso Creek Road and Enterprise in Aliso Viejo. And, because I’ve attended many of these, I sorta knew what to expert: A blissful, passionate congregating of frustrated and anxious and uppity and sad Americans fed up with the authoritarian behaviors of the Trump Administration and the flaccid GOP.

I’d arrive, speak to a bunch o’ folks, take some pictures and videos—then write up a report.

Bam. Bam. Bam.

Well … um … today, something happened.

Or, really, someone happened.

A lightning bolt. A thunder clap. A bad-ass motherfucker.

This is Cathy, my new hero and the queen of the universe …

In a way, I think I’ve spent the past year looking for Cathy, or someone like Cathy: A person who fully understands the bullshit of Trump, the con of Trump, the deception of Trump. To be from New Jersey (as Cathy is) or New York (as I am) means you possess a greater understanding of the president’s soulless desire to take and take and take and take and take and take. It’s not merely a lack of empathy (he has none, obviously), and it’s not merely the corruption (bruh is plenty corrupt). No, it’s the obsessive, never-ending quest for more. More power, more possessions, more fame, more adulation, more women to fondle, more golf to play, more fake trophies to accept, more gold paint to apply. It’s a rare Jabba the Hutt-esque gluttony. I’m not a therapist, so I can’t fully diagnose. But somewhere early in his life, the lack of love and compassion offered to Donald Trump resulted in this succubus of a non-human. Most of us, I like to believe, aspire to be givers. The president is a 100-percent taker.

So hearing Cathy so eloquently express what I’ve been feeling made my year, and cemented her as my all-time Independence Day hero.

•••

Wait, there’s more to say.

The rally had about 150 attendees (aka: seven times the amount of folks at the Great American State Fair), and was organized by the OC Indivisible Coalition. Music played, a couple of local office seekers shook hands, cars drove past and honked. And what I loved—like, loved-loved-loved-loved—was it felt like the perfect Independence Day activity.

Yeah, it’d be easy (and understandable) to stay home, kick back, have some burgers and some beers and pretend everything is kosher in the United States. But, the truth is, we are an ill nation. We are torn between a leader who cares only about self, two political parties that, oftentimes, seem mostly greedy/ineffective/tone-deaf/terrified, and a population that (as poll after poll reveals) exists in frozen states of frustration and isolation. Have we been here before? Sorta. Has it been this bad in my 54 years? No.

Not even close.

So … it’d be preferable to do nothing but grille and watch season three of “America’s Sweethearts” (Reece, please reconsider). These people, however, did not. They still believe in the United States, and decided it was worth the schlep to Aliso Town Center to make their voices heard. They marched, the clapped, they chanted, they fought, they embraced, they believed.

They still believe.

They are what July 4 is about.

They, as much as anyone, embody Independence Day.

PS: I’ve probably attended, oh, 30 events over the past 1 1/2 years, and Amy Stevens is at most of them—organizing, encouraging, speaking out, speaking up.

As I write this, Amy is running to be a member representative of the Orange County Working Families Party, and I could not endorse her efforts with any greater affection and clarity. She gives her life to this stuff, and is never afraid to roll up her sleeves, battle for what’s right. One can donate to her efforts here.

I chatted with Amy at the rally. She knows whereof she speaks …

So … hey.

Happy 4th, everyone.

Keep the faith!

So I’m typing this on July 3, a cup o’ coffee to my right, a bin of pastries feet away. It’s Friday, and the weather is lovely, the scenery is gorgeous. I am alive and healthy and blessed with a great family, an enjoyable career, ample friends and all the Blind Melon music one needs.

And yet …

It’s a challenge to celebrate Independence Day the way I used to. Not all that long ago, this was a Top 5 holiday for me, behind Halloween (free candy, bruh) but way ahead of Christmas (I’m Jewish) and New Year’s Eve (I rarely drink). I just always loved the spirit of it all. The fireworks, the flags, the pride. Dating back to my grandparents’ arrival from Germany in 1939, this nation has done so much for me and my people. It has served, truly, as a land of hope, dreams, opportunity, glory. Has it been perfect? Hells, no. Far from it. But it’s home, and I always felt as if, deep down, we were striving for something better. Maybe that was naive, but it’s how I felt.

Well, the past decade has been a bear. Donald Trump is a toxin. His enablers are clowns. There is a jarring willingness to not merely look the other way, but embrace corruption; to enable cruelty; to support greed atop greed atop greed. A country that once personified the Neil Diamond anthem, “America” now identifies more with this little Dennis Leary classic. We have become intellectually lazy and emotionally indifferent. We’re far more comfortable staring at our phones than talking to a stranger on the bus. We have all the technology one could need, but use it mainly to watch inane videos about sports betting, poop shapes and Reece, the Dallas Cowboy cheerleader. There are so many problems we can solve, but … we don’t. We lack the bandwidth. The interest. The compassion. The attention span.

It is heartbreaking and exhausting. As my friend Ellie recently noted, modern happiness comes with a cap.

Our happiness is capped.

But!

But!

But!

Independence Day matters, and what it symbolizes matters even more. Democracy is not free and it’s not easy. We are a land of 330 million, many of whom (clearly) are easily susceptible to the conman blusterings of an orange cult leader.

But this is what dwelling in such a large and riveting land comes with. We are required, by patriotism, to fight. We are required to march forward. We are required to remind folks that, no, this is not normal and, no, this is not the way it should be. A president making more than $2 billion during his time in the White House is garbage. A president spewing racist, homophobic, sexist bullshit from his pulpit is garbage. A president with a life history of swindling the masses is garbage.

We cannot allow ourselves to permanently become this.

Seriously, we cannot.

So, to hell with it. Fire up the grille. Eat your burgers. Wear your stars and stripes. Be proud of who you are, where you live and what—historically—it means.

Then fight like a motherfucker to preserve America’s purpose.

It’s worth the effort.

Happy 4th.

— Jeff

By Alex Gibson

Special to The Truth OC

Just a few weeks ago, the California primary elections wrapped and, during that time, debate swirled around whether the state should institute Ranked Choice Voting (RCV).

The main reason offered dealt with the massive number of Democratic candidates running—in particular the wild gubernatorial race. In the current California primary system, the two candidates with the most votes (regardless of party) move on to a head-to-head election to decide the winner. With approximately 8,432,111 people running for governor, this posed a serious vote-splitting dilemma—would divisions within the Democratic field result in two Republicans advancing?

Well, a collective sigh of relief could be heard in all of San Fran’s coffee shops when Democrat Xavier Becerra and Republican Steve Hilton (Your Newport grandpa’s favorite Fox News Host) emerged. Despite this, the need for a hopefully fairer and more representative version of voting has led many to support the switch to RCV.

So, what is RCV? It’s basically the Hunger Games of voting methods. Voters get to list their favorite candidates in order (instead of just one), and then entrants get eliminated, round by round, until someone has a 50 percent majority and triumphs. This system serves a dual purpose: It helps to solve both vote splitting and the voter representation problem. Since the electorate can now rank a series of candidates, folks won’t lose sleep over having voted for the less-popular Democrat. As to representation, before if you voted for someone who did something dumb (like, eh, this) then you simply wouldn’t be represented. In fact, Becerra and Hilton both moved on with less than 30 percent of the popular vote—meaning the two options for Californians in November were the No. 1 choice of less than one in three voters. With RCV, the hope is a real majority emerges—once the stragglers are eliminated, the winner is the one with more than half the remaining ballots.

RCV has its struggles, though. The winner of RCV is whoever is last standing, and not necessarily who is the most supported candidate. It’s like in the Hunger Games: Maybe the guy with the skills to kill the last two survivors gets killed early by someone else. In that case, the winner of the Hunger Games wasn’t necessarily the best candidate, they were just able to stay alive the longest. This manifests in a concept called center-squeeze. Essentially, moderate candidates who can capture a lot of people’s later choices—but crucially not a lot of first choices—tend to get voted out in the first round. This specifically hurts centrist or moderate candidates because while they can capture a lot more overall sentiment, more first choice votes go to more radical leaning candidates on either side. Today, politics has become so polarized that this poses a serious threat to the legitimacy of RCV to produce the most representative winner. If there was a vote between that inflatable frog from the Portland protests, a moderate independent, and a January 6 “Patriot,” unfortunately, in this political climate I don’t think the independent is winning—even though they likely represent more of the general public.

Ultimately, RCV is being proposed as a fix to a problem that can’t be solved by simply changing out the voting system. Center-squeeze proves that in such a politically divided country, RCV is like wrapping a bandage around the stab wound instead of the feeble Band-Aid of plurality. It isn’t stitches. It won’t fix the problem. Will it help? It would likely be better than the current system at finding a larger representative majority. But the main problem still stands: the RCV majority is more than likely going to be party-based. Democrats only listing Democrats and Republicans only listing Republicans. Hopefully, US politics will one day be able to reach a point where the average voter can see candidates from both parties running in their common interest, and not so radicalized that they don’t agree on anything.

That’s when RCV can truly stand out against inferior voting methods like the current plurality method.

Alex Gibson is an Economics and English student at Colby College with an interest in politics and finance. Check him out on LinkedIn.

In case you missed it, earlier today Donald Trump dropped this jewel on his social media platform, Douche Social …

And I am here to say—in the midst of the wild success of the Great American State Fair—”Yes! Please do this! Please hold a midterm convention in Dallas! Please have all the Republicans running for office show up! Please have them stand beside a president with a 26-percent approval rating! Please have them shuffle awkwardly as the president makes rape jokes, sex noises and two-steps to YMCA! Please have them rave about how great Donald Trump is! Please have him give one of his standard two-hour speeches about how elections are fixed and boys shouldn’t play girl sports! Please have him tell stories about folks calling him ‘Sir.’ Please have him hype up the candidates running for election and re-election. Have him marvel about their looks. Have him forget their names. Have him fall asleep. Then fall asleep again. And again.”

Do it! Dear God, please do it!

And, what I love more than guava and New Edition, is the Republicans will follow through with this craziness, because no one has the guts to stand up to Wanna-Be Hitler. They’ll complain in private, then arrive one by one to kiss his ring and rub his belly and tell him how this nation has never been stronger. “Thank you, sir, for letting me stand within 100 feet of your glow. Oh, thank you …”

I am here for it.

I am 100 percent here for it.